


Affection-less

by Simply_A_Cherry_Bomb



Series: Affectionverse [1]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Dream and Wayv make guest appearances, Fluff, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan-centric, Light Angst, M/M, Miscommunication, Misunderstandings, Tour life, angst with happy ending, hyuck is sad, it's not that angsty I think, rewritten, the hyungs all need to fix up
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-19
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-02-13 09:06:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 35,882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21491809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Simply_A_Cherry_Bomb/pseuds/Simply_A_Cherry_Bomb
Summary: "Ignore them." Jaemin cut his thoughts, causing him to snap his head up in confusion. "Don't hug them, don't kiss them, don't touch them, and only talk to them when necessary.""But," Donghyuck paused, wondering what could go wrong if he was to do that. As he thought about it, the pros overcame the cons (which weren't many), and a more successful result was portrayed in his head, where the older members might finally end up accepting his affection. "Alright, fine. I won't do any of that-", and his heart hurt when saying that, "And instead be—""Affection-less!" Jaemin finished for him, he threw his hands up and smiled brightly at Donghyuck. The warmth from his smile made its way to Donghyuck's heart, and now the idea didn't seem that bad.At least, Donghyuck hoped so.
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee
Series: Affectionverse [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1639561
Comments: 146
Kudos: 1207





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> First things first, this is a rewritten version of my own story. I wasn't happy with the way that was written (because it was SO bad I'm shocked no one commented about it), and so I fixed it up, the story changed slightly, and I hope there are no typos this time around. 
> 
> :)

Just as Donghyuck wrapped his slender fingers around the burger, bringing it close to his face and taking a sweet whiff of the deliciously unhealthy smell, a hand grabbed his shoulder, causing him to look away from the burger, confused as to who was daring to interrupt his moment with his precious burger. The invisible hand tugged on him again, and this time he heard a voice alongside it, the words coming out muffled, but Donghyuck only shrugged it off, a whine escaping his mouth as he turned back to his treasure. 

Obviously, the non-existent human, or whatever the hell this thing was, wasn't going to let Donghyuck eat in peace, so it grabbed Donghyuck's nose this time. The hand pinched his nose so tightly, that even breathing from his mouth failed, and that might've been because of another invisible hand holding it close. Thrashing his arms around, Donghyuck jerked forwards, watching as the burger flew out of his grip, and as he landed on the ground, a fresh bit of air hit him, and Donghyuck fell off his bed, the sound of Jaehyun's annoying laughter echoing in the room. 

"Idiot." Jaehyun snickered, making sure to make a mental note to remember this incident, and perhaps bring it up in the future (because apparently, he was making a list of all the embarrassing things that had happened to Donghyuck for blackmail). "What were you dreaming of?"

"Something better than your face," Donghyuck grunted, pushing his weight on his feet and using his knees to help himself up. The dizziness from the sudden stand made Donghyuck trip back, and land back on his butt. Another round of laughter echoed around the room, this time with Donghyuck joined in.

  
  


  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Donghyuck didn't understand. He looked to his right and watched as Mark cheekily smiled, his front teeth popping up (and Donghyuck suddenly remembered the time the elder had braces, and when he used to cover his mouth to hide them -— a habit he still has — after he got ridiculed by Donghyuck, although he also had them). He watched as Mark raised his hand, his sleeve slipping down, and  _ no _ Donghyuck was not staring at his arms for a few seconds, and he pinched Jungwoo's cheek. Just like that. With no hesitation or cringe.

Mark never did that with him, now that Donghyuck thought about it. To be very honest, Mark never even batted an eye at his pouts, or his hugs, or his kisses. He always let out a loud groan, forcing Donghyuck to move away from him, and then continued to talk about whatever they were conversing about. 

But he didn't mind. Donghyuck could care less about how Mark Lee reacted to his hugs or kisses. It's not as if Donghyuck's heart ached when he watched people push him away, and then proceed to do the same thing he did with someone else. That was a childish thing to get upset over, and Donghyuck was not childish, hell he was almost 20, he couldn't let this bother him.

Not as if it had been bothering him for years now.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


A week later, and Donghyuck gave up his pride.

  
  


  
  
  
  


"So you're upset they push you away?" Jaemin asked, shuffling closer to Donghyuck on the practice room floor, his feet creating a loud squeaky noise when he dragged his shoes across the floor, which made the two cringe hard, "And you're asking me how to fix this?"

"Precisely." Donghyuck nodded, his eyes bouncing from the floor, to the ceiling, and then back to Jaemin, clearly showing how desperate he was to ask Jaemin (the guy who was always asking everyone else how to deal with his problems, which were always somehow related to cartoons.) Honestly, Donghyuck should've asked Renjun, or maybe even Jeno, since they were the ones everyone relied on to help solve their problems, a strange tradition they created after Jisung once broke down during a rehearsal and those two helped him. 

But then Donghyuck thought about how they would react. He knew his 'problem' was childish (still not admitting the fact that he  _ hated _ it when the older members pushed him away and decided to keep it on a neutral level of disappointment or sadness? He still wasn't entirely sure), and that's why he knew that if he was to tell them, they'd talk sense into him, tell him it's nothing to get upset for, and then leave him alone. However, that was not the type of comforting Donghyuck wanted. It was confusing, and he didn’t exactly know what he should have done. There were only two options, actually. One was to tell the hyungs how he felt, most probably get embarrassed after they laugh at him and shrug it off, making the sick feeling in his stomach worse, and the other was to—

e

"Ignore them." Jaemin cut his thoughts, causing him to snap his head up in confusion. "Don't hug them, don't kiss them, don't touch them, and only talk to them when necessary."

"But," Donghyuck paused, wondering what could go wrong if he was to do that. As he thought about it, the pros overcame the cons (which weren't many), and a more successful result was portrayed in his head, where the older members might finally end up accepting his affection. "Alright, fine. I won't do any of that-", and his heart hurt when saying that, "And instead be—"

"Affection-less!" Jaemin finished for him, he threw his hands up and smiled brightly at Donghyuck. The warmth from his smile made its way to Donghyuck's heart, and now the idea didn't seem that bad.

  
  


At least Donghyuck hoped so.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


It was going to be easy, Donghyuck thought. All he had to do was not touch them, or speak to them. He could do this. He used to do this when he was tired, or exhausted and not up for social interaction, choosing to bury himself in the comfort of his bed, and spend the whole day there before getting up for practice, where he put on a mask and danced along, not even bothering to spare a look at the members. If he had done it before, he could do it again.

And so, Donghyuck opened his eyes and left Dreamland, his vision focused on the ceiling, and his arms started to ache. Practice had run late yesterday, since Jaemin and Donghyuck spent most of it just lazying around, using their phones and poking each other, much to the other members' dismay, and that lead to them leaving for their dorms at around 3 am. 

Donghyuck wouldn't have felt this tired, as he normally slept at that time because of his terrible sleep routine. But when he came home at night, sneaking in so that he wouldn't disturb the other members, and quietly made his way to the kitchen, hoping he could slip in a snack, Donghyuck found Mark sitting there, sipping on some coffee and scrolling through his phone in the dim light. 

A sudden wave of happiness washed over Donghyuck, and a large smiled etched on his face. Mark had stayed up waiting for Donghyuck, and he couldn't be happier. And just as he was going to go talk to him, Jaemin's words echoed in his ear.

_ Ignore them. _

_ Don't hug them. _

_ Don't kiss them. _

_ Don't touch them, _

_ And only talk to them when necessary. _

  
  


Chewing down on his lip, Donghyuck had stepped into the kitchen, his light steps still making enough sound to make Mark jump in his seat, startled by the new presence, but relaxing as soon as he laid his eyes on Donghyuck. Their eyes met each other, and before Mark could open his mouth to say something, Donghyuck broke it off, hurrying to the fridge and pulling out a bottle of water alongside the bowl of food Taeyong must've kept in there for him.

Mark watched with confusion as Donghyuck rushed past him, not even bothering to greet him, before disappearing in the hallway. The sound of a door clicking close was heard, and Mark blinked in surprise.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


(Donghyuck felt bad. 

He felt bad as he munched on his food, sending side glances at Jaehyun, who was sound asleep and snoring quite loudly. The image of Mark staring at him, slightly hurt by the way Donghyuck had treated him, was engraved in his mind. He felt bad for ignoring Mark, a little 'hi' couldn't have hurt, could it?, And he felt bad because Mark had stayed up till 3 for him, knowing well that he had a longer schedule whilst Donghyuck didn't. He felt bad because Donghyuck never did this, ignoring people and not even showing any signs of regret on his face. 

Mark must feel so angry or hurt, at the way Donghyuck rushed past him, not a single word shared between them. And then Donghyuck couldn't sleep until the sun rose.)

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Finally getting out of bed, Donghyuck threw his blanket to the side, a whine almost escaped his mouth as the cold air hit him, reminding him that it was still winter and that he had to wrap himself up to stay warm. Stuffing his feet into socks, and slipping his arms into a hoodie, barely managing to get his head through the large hood, Donghyuck stumbled out of his room, stretching his arms out to get rid of the ache. 

As he left his room, rubbing his eyes tiredly, and following the trail of voices, Donghyuck let out a yawn, his mind still worrying about Mark.

“Ah, Donghyuck, come here,” Yuta said, waving at the brunette who just entered the room, and then gesturing towards the sofa. Donghyuck wobbled over to the members, glancing around to check if Mark was there — he wasn’t — before sighing out of relief? Annoyance? Worry?

"Taeyong's gonna make breakfast," Taeil informed, watching as Donghyuck dropped onto the sofa, sinking into the cushions and his eyes fluttered closed.

It was his first day in trying to stay away from being too affectionate, and he was only a few minutes in and the urge to go and hug Taeil was there. Jungwoo entered the room, flashing a smile at Donghyuck, although his eyes were closed, and then fell on top of Taeil, muttering something along the lines of, 'Good morning the most beautiful person in the world'. Cringe, but Donghyuck still smiled, and so did Taeil.

"What's up?" Yuta asked, elbowing Donghyuck and forcing him to open his eyes. "You're really quiet, is there anything bothering you?"

"No, just tired." And to support his words, Donghyuck smiled weakly, before closing his eyes again and letting out a sigh. He missed the worried look Yuta sent the other two across the room.

"Breakfast's ready," Taeyong said, gesturing for them all to come into the kitchen, and the stupid bright orange apron he was wearing hurt Donghyuck's eyes. As he got up to join the rest in the kitchen, where the table was, Taeyong stopped him with a hand, pointing a finger to the corridor. "Can you wake Mark up?"

As much as Donghyuck didn't want to, he still swallowed down his disagreement and said, "Of course hyung", thriving off the small hug Taeyong gave him because of the answer.

Dragging his feet across the floor, Donghyuck held his head low, thinking about how to approach Mark. He could do it the normal way he does, pulling the blanket off the elder and then laughing at the whines he lets out. Or, he could just do it the way he expected Mark would like it best (since when did he become a people pleaser?), tapping his shoulder and calmly asking him to wake up.

Donghyuck opened the door to Mark's room, poking his head in and staring at the large bump on the bed and the legs hanging out of the sheets. He almost wanted to laugh at how cute the scene was.

"Mark Hyung?" Donghyuck called out, hoping that the big distance he created between them — him standing literally across the room, holding the door closely to himself — would be able to help the feeling he had inside him (he still didn't know whether or not he was angry or sad towards the members for always denying his affection). "Wake up."

It only took a few calls, his voice getting louder and louder each time, before Mark let out a loud groan, rolling over in bed, and yawning into the air. Donghyuck watched as Mark jumped into a sitting position, before smiling at the younger, his eyes squinting to check who it was (and Donghyuck swears he saw the smile drop).

"I'm awake, I'm awake," Mark mumbled, throwing his legs off the bed and stumbling out, trailing behind Donghyuck, but taking a turn at one point to go to the bathroom. 

Well that was wasn't too hard, now was it?

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


"Haechanie, sit with me," Jungwoo said softly, patting the seat next to him, whilst holding Taeil's arm in the other. Donghyuck chuckled at the way Taeil tried to pull his arm away but then giving in to the pout Jungwoo gave him. 

"Hey." Donghyuck greeted, sitting down and his heart warmed up when Jungwoo reached to his right and gave him a short hug. He always gave him hugs, or kisses, whenever he had the chance to. Jungwoo was one of the members he always went to for affection, and the Dreamies (because as much as they teased Donghyuck and beat him up, they always hugged him and repaid the immense amount of weird brotherly love he gave them).

"Eat up." Jungwoo chirped, putting more food into his plate once he realised Donghyuck couldn't reach the food on the side. 

The table was quiet for the rest of the morning, eyes were wandering around, landing on Donghyuck, who was unusually silent through it all, eating his food slowly and glueing his eyes to his plate. Before anyone could comment on his behaviour, Donghyuck stood up, almost pushing the chair to the ground and hurried over to the sink, placing his plate there and then turning to Taeyong.

"I'm going to practice, thanks for the food Hyung, bye-bye." And with that he rushed out of the dorm, trying his best to not get happy over the chorus of replies he got. They didn't mean anything special. They didn't, they didn't, they didn't—

Why did they mean so much to Donghyuck?

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


The drive to the company was quick, only a few turns since their dorm wasn't far from the building, and Donghyuck walked through the halls, with a speed he never knew he had. He felt bad for leaving abruptly during their breakfast since he’s never done anything like that before. But he knew he had to start somewhere, and if that somewhere meant acting rude and disrespectful just to prove a point, Donghyuck had to go for it despite the consequences.

He opened the door to the practice room with a bang, startling Jisung, who just happened to be standing right next to it, and Donghyuck turned to Jaemin, who looked up at him with a large smile.

"How was your first day as affection-less?" Jaemin asked, and Donghyuck felt like slapping him for talking about their plan so loudly. Jeno and Renjun froze halfway through their fight for the last snack bar, and the younger two also stopped playing around with the music system. They all stared at Donghyuck with confusion, before turning to Jaemin.

"What do you mean by that?" Jeno asked, and honestly, he didn't seem intimidating at all, not with the large bunny paws he was wearing after he lost a bet with Jisung, but his gaze was still sharp. "Hyuck, what does he mean?"

"I—" Donghyuck sighed, he might as well tell them what he was doing. There was no point in hiding it from them, although they'd probably scold him for doing such a thing, they couldn't exactly force him to not be normal, could they? 

"Haechannie’s on a mission to not give the hyungs any affection, at least not until they give it to him unconditionally," Jaemin answered forrom him, and Jeno face palmed immediately, Renjun following him soon after.

"Why don't you just tell them you want them to be like that with you?" Jeno grabbed Donghyuck's shoulder and brought him to the ground with the rest of them. He shrugged his arms, making a face before turning to Jaemin, hoping he could help him. "No, listen Hyuck, it's not gonna end up well. You should just talk your feelings out instead, you know?"

"But—"

"The hyungs need to learn it the harsh way Jeno." Jaemin interrupted, shaking his head at Jeno's groan of frustration. "They need to understand that it's not alright to be acting so cold towards him all the time."

"He could just—" Jisung stopped suddenly and made a gesture towards Jeno indicating for him to stop too, and then rushed towards the music system which played a song that forced them to jump to their feet, following the beat (and if some random person was to see this they'd probably assume they were robots following a command, but in all honesty it was because one of their managers had walked in, and their harsh glare was enough to get them onto their feet).

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Halfway through practice, Donghyuck's phone rang, snapping him out of his thoughts, and he put his bottle of water down, wiping his hand down his leg before picking up the call.

"Hello?" He said without checking who had called him.

"Hey, Haechan, Doyoung was asking what you wanted to eat for dinner?" Taeil answered him, and why the hell was Doyoung asking him what he wanted for dinner. He never—_they_ _all_ never asked him what he wanted for food, and made plans on their own. So why were they asking today? Was it because of the way Donghyuck left the dorm in the morning? Had they caught on to the fact that Donghyuck was upset? Then maybe they should suffer a while longer in the dark and should ask him directly rather than try to please him into forgiving them.

"Ah, sorry Hyung, I'll be staying at the dream dorm tonight," Donghyuck replied, and looked over to Renjun, who nodded enthusiastically (even though he was going to ignore him the second they entered the dorm). "But thanks for asking, bye."

As soon as Taeil muttered his bye, Donghyuck ended the call, and a sigh left his mouth before he dropped onto the floor. Jeno scoffed before sliding down next to him.

"This is why you should—"

"Just let me be Jeno."


	2. Chapter 2

Donghyuck sighed, and tore his eyes away from the ceiling, which had seemed so interesting to him that he had stayed up for hours just watching it, and then looked at the clock ticking beside him. It was nearly 4 am — great another night gone by without any sleep — and all Donghyuck could think about was the way the hyungs had looked at him in the morning. They looked sad, or maybe hurt? Was it a mixture of the two? Donghyuck didn't know. The hyungs were never vocal about their problems towards Donghyuck, as they all had their own person to speak to when it came to their problems. For example, Renjun and Jaemin spoke to each other, whilst Jeno and Donghyuck cleared out their problems.

"Hyuck?" Jaemin's voice snapped him out of his thoughts, and Donghyuck turned around in the small bed, the turn made him face Jaemin, who only looked up at him with tired eyes. "Go to sleep, baby."

"Can't." Donghyuck sighed and wrapped his arms around Jaemin. He shuffled closer to him, causing their bodies to flush together and he let out a hum of comfort. Although Jaemin wasn't his cuddle buddy (that role was reserved for the one and only Jeno), he did give good hugs. And so, for now, Jaemin was the one he had to be with (mostly because Renjun refused to allow Donghyuck into their bedroom and because Jisung said something about feeling scared whilst being in the same room with Jaemin for too long. Why? Who knows, Jisung's a wild card).

"Try to think of good things." Jaemin's words came out slurred, his useless advice got muffled by a yawn, and his grip on Donghyuck's waist loosened, indicating that he had fallen asleep. Donghyuck couldn't blame him, they  _ did _ spend the entire day in the practice room.

Donghyuck closed his eyes and thought of things that made him happy. Unfortunately for him, his brain decided to be a bitch and brought out a picture of Mark, smiling brightly at him and waving. To be honest, the thought of Mark did make him happy, but it also brought along a strange feeling in his stomach, and he guessed that was bad. It had to be.

Surprisingly, a few moments afterwards, whilst Donghyuck was having a mini argument with himself in his mind, his systems started closing one by one, and soon, he was fast asleep.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


The light for Jaemin and Jisungs shared room was switched on with no mercy, and a ruthless Renjun stared at Donghyuck, who glared at him from underneath the sheets. Jaemin finally woke up, grudgingly removed his arms from Donghyuck, and managed to elbow the shorter in the eye, then got kneed in the stomach.

"Cuddling is soft but painful," Jaemin commented, rubbing his arms, the ones that were under Donghyuck's small, yet heavy, head. The two glanced at Renjun (who remained motionless at the door with not even a hint of a smile) before looking at each other and bursting into tiny fits of laughter. Their loud noise woke Jisung up, and the youngest of the group whined at them for ruining his sleep.

As he pulled over one of Jaemin’s sweater over his head,, Donghyuck climbed out of the bed, dragging his feet across the floor and trailed after Renjun. They all took turns in the bathroom, waiting almost half an hour for Jaemin before they all stumbled to the door. Without getting breakfast, the six rushed into a car and made their way to the company building. They decided to get breakfast from there, because why not? The food was great, and the discount they got was perfect. 

Just as Donghyuck was about to pout and beg someone to buy him food (his daily routine), Chenle grabbed his arm and tugged him towards one of the counters.

"Pay for me please." He said, his head nodding down, and although their height difference wasn't much, Donghyuck almost felt as if he was looking down at one of his younger (annoying) siblings.

"Alright." Donghyuck ruffled Chenle's hair, realising that maybe he should use this opportunity to repay the younger for all the times he had paid for Donghyuck's food. Now that he thinks about it, was this one of the reasons the hyungs never returned his affection. Was he too selfish?

Before Donghyuck could engulf himself in the negative thoughts, a hand grabbed his, making him nearly drop the small sandwich he bought, and he was dragged to one of the practice rooms. Waving goodbye to the dreamies, and earning a good luck nod from Jaemin, Donghyuck stumbled into the room, only now finding out that it was Yuta who had pulled him allhim all the way there. He kind of hoped it had been someone else.

"Let's practice," Yuta said, letting go of Donghyuck's hand and immediately dashing over to the music system. A song started playing, and the members jumped into position, dancing along to the beat and the occasional mistake was overlooked. 

A few hours passed, a few bottles were finished, and a few snacks were opened before practice was finally over. Donghyuck managed to avoid all the members through it all, excusing himself by telling them that he had to do something on his phone, but in reality, he was just playing games, hoping they didn't notice. They did, but no one called him out for it.

"Hey," Taeil said, walking over to him once practice was over. "Wanna watch a movie today?" 

Donghyuck turned to him in surprise, because he  _ never _ asked Donghyuck to watch a movie with him. Doyoung suddenly appeared beside them, and he repeated the question, shocking him even further. Was this because he had been ignoring them the whole day? Donghyuck felt bad for doing that, but if this was the result, maybe it was a good thing.

"Alright." Donghyuck smiled, before leaving his spot to pick up his bag and other things. He side-eyed Mark, who apparently didn't even notice his presence, before hurrying over to the two standing by the door for him. "Let's go."

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


"What're we watching?" Donghyuck asked, rubbing his head with a towel whilst walking into the living room straight out the shower, exhaustion draining all the energy out of him. Taeil and Doyoung, who had already been stationed by the sofa, shrugged their shoulders.

"Whatever you wanna watch," Doyoung replied, and watched as Donghyuck collapsed into the sofa. The two seemed surprised by Donghyuck since he would've normally rushed into the kitchen and brought back a feast for the film, but when he didn't, they decided to let it go and shuffled closer to him.

A few moments went by, and Donghyuck scrolled through the options on the TV, chewing down on his bottom lip as he was deep in thought. The two older members exchanged looks, before sliding their hands around the younger. Donghyuck froze, feeling them give him a side hug, and he tried to relax into it, but it was  _ hard _ . 

"Hyuck." Taeil started, moving his hand over to Donghyuck's, and guiding him to put the remote away on the coffee table in front of him. "Are you okay?"

The question shouldn't have made Donghyuck feel the way he felt at that moment, because it was a normal question that he had been asked throughout the day by many different members. But hearing it come out of Taeil, the sincere tone behind the words, and a worried expression on his face. It made him feel horrible.

"Yeah," Donghyuck replied, nodding his head and then clearing his throat, tearing his eyes away from Taeil and choosing to stare at the TV instead. "What made you think I'm not?"

"Well," Doyoung sat up on the sofa, nervously glancing at Taeil and then back to Donghyuck. "First of all, you normally cling onto us and give us hugs all the time. Second of all, whenever you stay over with the dreamies, you make sure to message us and tell us when you're going to sleep, even when it's really late. Third of all, during movie nights, you make sure to make food for us. And you, have done none of them today."

Oh. Donghyuck clings onto them? Was that annoying? Was that the reason they rejected him so often? And when he messaged them in the night, he thought they enjoyed receiving those love-filled messages. Turns out he was just annoying them. 

"You only love me for my food." Donghyuck gasped dramatically, holding a hand to his chest and shaking his head at the two.

"Donghyuck," Doyoung said sternly, the smile that appeared in his face when the younger cracked a joke disappeared quicker than it came. "You can tell us if you're not okay."

Donghyuck bit his lip, debating whether or not he should tell them why he was upset, but then again, they'd probably laugh at him. They’ll probably even get upset at him for thinking about such a childish thing and getting sad because of it. Or maybe they'd get angry. Donghyuck's mind wasn't really providing him with a happy ending, now was it?

"It's because…" Donghyuck sighed, running a hand through his hair and uncomfortably shifting on the sofa. "Whenever I hug you guys, all you do is push me away every single time. Like, I understand if you do it sometimes because I can get annoying, but does it have to be  _ every time? _ Can't you guys ever just accept a hug?"

There was a long silence, and Donghyuck expected them to shout at him, even though he knew they weren't harsh and rude people, he still expected a bad response. Taeil and Doyoung remained silent as they wrapped their arms around the younger, enveloping him into a hug. They thought Donghyuck had family problems, or maybe he was just stressed out because their next comeback was down the corner. They even suspected that it was because of some comments he must've heard because they knew how harsh those could be.

But no, it was this.

"Uh," Taeil let go of Donghyuck gently, looking down at the younger, who only hung his head lower, avoiding eye contact. "But I don't push you away?"

"You do." Donghyuck insisted, and a memory of Taeil constantly ignoring him appeared in his head, almost making him feel even worse. "Even if you do accept my hugs, you reject me in the end, and I know it's stupid, and that I should just grow—"

"It's not stupid!" Doyoung hastily said, pulling away from the hug and looking down at Donghyuck. He grabbed the younger's shoulder and shook him. "I'm sorry we didn't realise we did that to you. We didn't know it made you feel that way. I mean, you always laughed when we rejected you, so we assumed you only did it for fun."

"It's okay," Donghyuck replied, and he had barely finished his sentence when Doyoung pulled him back into a hug, this time almost suffocating him because of his tight grip. Although Donghyuck was annoying, and a brat, and constantly taking the piss, he was still the youngest, and they all still cared greatly for him, even if their methods were a little strange.

"We'll make sure to return the love," Taeil whispered, hooking his arm around Donghyuck's shoulder and then pulling him closer, guiding Doyoung along with him. Donghyuck sighed, and then leaned back into the sofa. 

That response was a lot better than the one he had planned in his head. All of his ideas ended up with him getting shouted at, and then continuous rejection. They weren't the best endings possible, but they were the only ones Donghyuck could assume would happen. He knew Jeno was right, in the sense that what he was doing was childish. It could almost be seen as irresponsible since the dynamics in the group could get messed up because of him. But he still had feelings, and he wanted to get them across in some way.

He just had to prove his point.

"Now then," Donghyuck cleared his throat, and then leaned forward, breaking the hug for a second and grabbing the remote, before sinking back into their arms. "What should we watch?"


	3. Chapter 3

The neo city world tour was announced and the second Donghyuck found out, he dialled a call to his mum and told her about the good news. In all honesty, he already knew about it, during the injury that he had two months ago, but he still hadn't told his parents anything, waiting for it to become official before telling them.

The first few weeks of practising new choreographies for the concert wasn't hard, in Donghyuck's opinion, since he had always been a fast learner, and because they had already performed them in Japan. But as they were going to go straight into their newest comeback's promotions right after the tour, they were busy with that as well. 

Everything was going well, everything related to the tour at least, and Donghyuck was busy with work, unable to spend any time worrying about anything else. The dreamies had been wanting to meet up with him, but due to their schedules as well, it wasn't possible. With the dreamies being held off by work, and the time they spent in the practice room increased, Donghyuck didn't even realise that a whole month had gone past since he spoke to Jaemin about his problem.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


"Our first concert is tomorrow," Taeyong announced, holding his bag closely to his knee and turning to the others. He took a deep breath before starting to explain how they were all going to spend the current day. Donghyuck nodded along to what he said, but all of his words went in one ear, and out the other. It wasn't as if Donghyuck didn't want to listen to Taeyong, he was just finally coming to a realisation.

It had been a month since he had started his 'affection-less' journey, yet the only people who had noticed his odd behaviour were Doyoung and Taeil. Donghyuck was a little hurt, and disappointed, but he made sure to not let it get to him. Whenever he saw the members getting all affectionate with each other, specifically Mark, he just looked the other way, pretending as if he didn't want to do that same.

"Make sure to get your sleep," Taeyong finished, before tightening his grip on his bags and marching over to the elevator. As he slipped in and furiously talked the button for the sixth floor, Johnny jogged up to Donghyuck, giving him a nudge which the younger knew meant he wanted him to be his roommate.

Although Johnny was generally accepting of affection, he wasn't necessarily happy with what Donghyuck used to give him. The quick pecks on his cheeks and the forced hugging always ended up with Donghyuck getting a playful (yet painful) punch on his arm. It seemed like a joke, to others at least, but Donghyuck still took it seriously. The looks he would receive from Johnny was enough to make him want to curl up in his blankets and just pretend he never did any of that. 

"Wanna watch a movie?" Johnny asked as soon as the door to their room closed. Donghyuck dropped his bags on the floor, taking his jacket off in the process before collapsing onto the bed. Johnny watched him snake his way out of his clothes, until he was in his boxers and his shirt. With a sigh, the taller picked up the clothes from the bed, and nearly folded them on the side. He turned around and repeated his question, "Wanna watch a movie?"

"Hyung literally told us to sleep early," Donghyuck mumbled, stuffing his face further into the pillow and inhaling the sweet smell of custard (an odd fragrance for washing clothes, but Donghyuck didn't mind). He turned his head to the side, squashing his cheek between his body weight and the pillow, and looked up into Johnny's hopeful eyes. The exhaustion in his body immediately washed out, and he forced himself to sit up. "Fine, what do you wanna watch?"

Johnny lit up at the question, and hurriedly undressed as well, quickly throwing on some sweatpants and a shirt before jumping on top of Donghyuck, laughing when he heard the younger whine.

"Anything  _ you _ want!" Johnny answered and then wrapped his arm around Donghyuck's shoulder, pulling him into a side hug. Donghyuck smiled to himself, feeling the warmth flood his body, and then pulled out his tablet, swiping away at the screen and loading Netflix (the only legal app they had). As he scrolled through the options, he felt a hand grow through his hair, and his heart tugged at the feeling. It was soft, although Johnny's hands were rough, and his fingers were getting tangled in his hair. Donghyuck enjoyed it.

"Are you angry at us?"

Donghyuck's smile froze, and his hand hovered above the movie he was going to tap on. The trailer began playing, and the quiet sound of the music echoed in the silent room. Even though everything was frozen for Donghyuck, Johnny kept brushing his hand through his hair gently, pulling apart any tangled pieces of hair. He was waiting for an answer.

Honestly, Donghyuck shouldn't have been as surprised as he was. Of course, Johnny would've noticed his unusual behaviour. Donghyuck would normally be all over Johnny, jumping into him whenever he had the chance and hugging him for comfort. Donghyuck had suddenly stopped all of that, and it had even come down to avoiding eye contact. If no one had noticed, then that would be more shocking. 

Johnny knew Donghyuck was acting out of character, silently eating his food, leaving the room without making a rude remark, or just simply staying away from them the whole day. It was odd, but he didn't want to ask about it. Especially since he had seen Taeil and Doyoung spend the night with Donghyuck, resulting in the younger waking up with puffy eyes (which no one questioned) and a sick figure. He was clearly disturbed, but Johnny thought by asking him what was wrong, it would make things worse.

And that was his mistake.

He should've asked.

"I'm not angry," Donghyuck replied in a quiet voice, locking the tablet and tucking it away, trying his best to do it as slowly as possible, so that he could avoid the rest of the conversation (though he knew if he just cooperated with Johnny, things would end more smoothly). He shuffled around on the bed, but a hand kept him caged to the bed, restricting his movement as if Johnny was making sure a wild animal wouldn't escape.

"Then why have you been avoiding us?" Johnny asked, his eyes finally finding Donghyuck's, and the younger could see the confusion in them. He felt guilt bubble inside him as he caught a glimpse of sadness in his eyes. The tension between them was thick enough to be cut, and Donghyuck wanted whatever this was to end quickly.

"You guys always push me away," Donghyuck finally replied, lowering his gaze and taking a deep breath, knowing that he would say next would determine how Johnny would treat him afterwards. He could either mess this up and ruin his relationship with the older, or he could spill his feelings out in a neat manner, allowing Johnny to check through them carefully, and be able to help him.

Before Johnny could reply, Donghyuck continued.,

"I know you guys don't mean to," Donghyuck gulped down the lump of fear he had been holding in his throat, and then took a few seconds to collect his thoughts, trying to find the best way to word things, "At least some of you don't."

Donghyuck didn't want Johnny to feel guilty - well, to some extent he did - but he wanted Johnny to understand his side of the story. He wanted Johnny to see how he got hurt by the way the members, including him, pushed him to the side, telling him to stop bothering them and give them some space. They mean well, and sometimes they're just tired, but it still hurts Donghyuck, because he knows some of them do it because they simply don't like Donghyuck.

"I know hugs and other things don't mean much to you all," Donghyuck whispered, clenching his hands into fists and hoping Johnny would say something, since he had been quiet this whole time, and that was honestly just scaring Donghyuck. "But I already don't get to spend time with the people who accept my affection."

He was talking about the Dream members, and both of them knew that. Sure, Donghyuck was the annoying brat of NCT 127, who made sure to make the members in his groups lives a hell, hugging them and overwhelming them with love, but in Dream, he was just another kid who was hanging out with his close friends. Of course, he annoyed them as well, the constant teasing and love was present there as well, but the members of Dream always reciprocated his affection. Normally, it would happen behind cameras (sneaking into Donghyuck's room to cuddle was Jeno's talent at this point), but the members always made sure to express how much they missed Donghyuck. And all that love, it made Donghyuck soft.

It wasn't as if Donghyuck treated Dream members with more love, he was pretty sure he did that with the 127 members instead, but that was because they didn't accept him.

"You and the other hyungs are all a lot older than me," Donghyuck continued, seeing as to how there was no response from Johnny, and the hand in his hair was still brushing, "So I knew there were limits to his close, or friendly, we could be. But Mark hyung," Donghyuck sighed as he thought about the older, "He was the only person close to my age in this group, so I thought me and him could be close friends. Since everyone has one of those, for example, Jeno has Jaemin and Renjun, Chenle has Jisung, Jaehyun hyung has Doyoung hyung...you get what I mean, right? But then whenever I suggest this to him he simply laughs it off, pushes me aside, and tells me we can't be friends. It might be a joke for him, but it honestly hurts me a lot."

Johnny brushed his hair one last time, before pulling Donghyuck close to himself. Their legs got piled on top of each other in the process, and Donghyuck awkwardly held his hand in front of his face, trying his best to not touch the oldest chest. 

"We're sorry," Johnny said, ducking his head down and stuffing it into Donghyuck's hair, taking in the sweet strawberries scent and then letting out a deep breath. He didn't know that Donghyuck was hurt by his actions, or anyone's actions. To be fair, Donghyuck never openly expressed how he felt about the rejection he received from the members, instead choosing to laugh off the embarrassment and pretending as if none of that existed. "We're all really sorry for not noticing this. I promise, Haechannie, I won’t reject you again."

"No no," Donghyuck immediately interrupted his, the heavy sense of guilt present in Johnny's voice making his stomach twist in a way it hadn't before, and Donghyuck quickly tilted his head up, barely missing Johnny's chin, and said, "Don't be sorry, it's not your fault. It's just me, being childish, and unable to—"

Johnny placed a hand over Donghyuck's mouth, muffling any words that he tried to let out. He sighed and shook his head, a smile nearly appeared on his face as he watched Donghyuck squirm under his hand.

"It's not only your fault, okay?" Johnny said, waiting for Donghyuck to nod (which he did after a while) before taking it off. "And it's not childish. You're hurt, and that is understandable."

A moment of silence passed between them before Johnny began to get restless. Donghyuck noticed, so he wrapped his arms around Johnny, a rush of emotions flooding his as he felt the older’s arms snake around his waist, and he sighed. It turned out a lot better than he had expected, with Johnny at least. 

The other members were yet to notice Donghyuck's strange behaviour, or maybe they had but didn't care enough to question. Thinking about that hurt his heart, so he quickly put the thought away, choosing to enjoy the soft feeling he was experiencing right now.

"Goodnight, Hyung," Donghyuck muttered, sinking into the mattress and Johnny's grip. 

"Goodnight, Hyuckie," Johnny replied, and with that, Donghyuck fell asleep.


	4. Chapter 4

"Are you avoiding me?" Was the first thing Mark said, quickly grabbing Donghyuck's arm and pulling him back. The tour bus was waiting outside their hotel, and the members were all leaving for their first concert. But that didn't matter to Mark at the moment.

He wasn't blind, obviously, and could see that Donghyuck was doing  _ this _ (whatever this was) on purpose. Donghyuck was clearly avoiding him, and the other members, for some reason. But he suspected it was because of something stupid, or something that didn't really require that much attention, yet because of his actions was getting it. And Mark wasn't going to allow Donghyuck to guilt-trip him into this one, no, not like last time.

"No," Donghyuck replied, jerking his hand away from Mark, annoyed by the harsh tone in Mark's voice, before walking away. If Mark truly cared about why he was acting like this, then he would've asked more nicely, the same way the other three did.

Mark watched as Donghyuck began to walk away and rolled his eyes. He didn't understand why Donghyuck was being so difficult. If he had a problem, he should've just told them what was wrong. Doing this, this weird ignoring and avoiding thing, it wasn't really helping him in Mark's eyes. He looked childish.

"Fine then, be like that," Mark muttered, and then stuffed his hands into his pockets, letting out a huff before trailing behind the younger. They climbed into the bus, immediately taking the seats they liked the most. Donghyuck jumped onto the dear besides Johnny, whilst Mark sat in a corner with Jungwoo, who plugged in his earphones and zoned out. 

A few minutes into the ride, Johnny saw something amusing on his phone, so he titled it to the side to show Donghyuck. The younger brought a hand to his face and tried to stifle his laughter, hoping Taeil - who was asleep - wouldn't wake up. Mark watched as Johnny wrapped an arm around Donghyuck's shoulders, and narrowed his eyes. Since when did they get so close?

"What's so funny?" Taeyong asked, shuffling over to Donghyuck and snaking his arm around Donghyuck's waist, pulling him closer to get a better view of what was happening. 

(Taeyong had noticed the way Donghyuck had started ignoring them. If he hadn't noticed, then he would be a bad friend, but he didn't understand why he was doing it. That was until he overheard the conversation Donghyuck had with Taeil and Doyoung. At first, he was surprised, confused as to why Donghyuck would feel that way, especially because he's always so happy. Then it slowly made sense, and Taeyong didn't even realise that it took him so long, until he saw Johnny attached to Donghyuck by the hip. He took a long time, but he was here to fix it now.)

"Hyung showed me this," Donghyuck answered, slipping Johnny's phone out of the taller's grip, and then leaned into Taeyong, showing him the screen. The trio giggled quietly, eyeing as Taeil stirred in his sleep before returning to their previous positions, but the hands they had on Donghyuck remained in their spot.

Mark watched as Taeyong inched closer and closer to Donghyuck until their bodies were flushed together, and Johnny leaned down to place his head over the younger's. Mark closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He wasn't jealous. Of course not. Just confused. Taeyong was never one to initiate affection do easily, and especially not towards Donghyuck, the little devil who thrived of it. Taeyong was the type who would limit his affection so that when he would give it to people, they would feel special, or just simply honoured to get a hug and a kiss on the head from him.

"What's wrong?" Jungwoo asked Mark, slumping down in the seat and turning his head to the younger. "You seem upset, is something up?"

Mark wasn't exactly upset. He was close to the annoyed side of the spectrum rather than the sad since his best friend was acting up, by ignoring him and not even sparing a glance at him. He had a right to know, being his best friend and all, yet Donghyuck was holding up a barrier, making sure Mark couldn't just jump over it. It wasn't right.

"Nothing," Mark answered, choosing not to tell Jungwoo about his inner conflict (and the immense amount of anger he felt) and smile instead. He raised his hands and pinched Jungwoo's cheeks, a strange habit he picked up after babying Sicheng for so long. "I'm fine, cutie."

"You sure?" Jungwoo tilted his head, a pout crept up his face and Mark couldn't help but smile even wider. He brought his other hand to Jungwoo's cheeks and pushed them together.

"Yeah," Mark chuckled, and continued to play around with Jungwoo's cheeks, a fond smile over his face and his mood getting better by the second. He pulled away a few moments later, only to catch a glimpse of the silver-haired male sitting opposite him duck his head low. Mark narrowed his eyes once again, chewing into his cheek before shrugging his shoulders. 

If Donghyuck wasn't going to tell him what was wrong, then Mark wouldn't push it, even if he did want to know why the younger was staring, or why he looked so sad nowadays. If Donghyuck didn't think Mark was good enough to tell him what's wrong, then Mark didn't care either.

The bus came to a stop and the members rushed out, their nerves getting worse as they took large steps towards the venue. Fans were crowded by the barriers and the group tried to smile as much as they could, although their hearts had dropped at the sight of so many people and the large cameras that were pointed towards them. They weren't being ungrateful, of course not, but the attention and pressure was rising. More fans were holding boards with unspeakable nonsense, and Donghyuck was sure he had seen a fan take a picture of him as he walked through the halls of the building. 

They all rushed into the dressing room and a bunch of people lead them to their seats. Donghyuck fell down into his chair, letting out a loud sigh as he let his body relax. He was tired. Tired of all the work he had done and the fact that no one else had noticed his unusual behaviour. Was he really that invisible that no one (other than Taeil, Doyoung, Johnny and Taeyong - maybe) had realised he was hurt? Donghyuck had seen Mark cling onto Jungwoo when they were on the bus. The feeling of his heart getting crushed was still present and he tried his best to just brush it off. He shouldn't be so affected by Mark's actions, yet he was.

"Donghyuck," Mark called his name out from across the dressing room. He forced himself to turn his head towards Mark and came to face a slightly annoyed expression. "Are you okay?"

Mark didn't want to force answers out of Donghyuck since he wanted the younger to willingly come to him for help. But Donghyuck was making it too difficult. Mark had already asked him what was wrong and he just shut him down without a second of hesitation. Although he knew it probably gave Donghyuck a sense of satisfaction - being able to make the entire group worry about him just by ignoring them and get them to ask him questions - Mark needed to make sure Donghyuck was alright. His stupid best friend instincts kicked in.

"I'm fine," Donghyuck replied, and Mark could feel his blood boil at the answer. Why couldn't Donghyuck just tell him what was wrong? It would make things so much easier. They could discuss the issue at hand (whatever it was) and then find a solution together as a group.  _ Donghyuck just had to dramatise everything, didn't he? _

"Cool," Mark muttered, and he looked back into his reflection, taking in his appearance. A stylist suddenly popped up beside him before taking out a brush. She told him to close his eyes and he did it with a deep breath. His mind was on Donghyuck as the brush rubbed against the back of his eyelids. To be honest, his mind was in Donghyuck the whole time.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


"Come on," Yuta said, patting everyone's back as they exited the dressing room. "We're going onto the stage now."

The members lined up behind the massive screen by the stage and all took deep breaths, working on ways to control their breathing. The intro began to play and the group straightened up, fixing his shirts and making sure their makeup was alright. The song started and one by one everyone walked out from the screen, singing along to their lines. Mark frowned as he realised the others didn't have much to sing and tried his best to ignore the twist in his stomach as he watched Sicheng push his mic away from his mouth before dancing along to the choreography more effortfully. 

The song came to an end rather quickly, as it was only as an intro to their concert, and Mark placed his hands in his hips, holding himself up and looked around in the crowd. A soft smile on his face as he read the cute messages people had written on some boards (and ignored the weird ones).

"What's up New Jersey!" Mark heard Johnny yell, and he turned his head to see him, but as he did, he got distracted by Donghyuck. The younger kept bouncing his head to whatever Johnny was saying as if his words meant something amazing before hitting the taller for a lame joke he managed to understand. Although Donghyuck had a big smile on his face and a burst of sweet laughter escaping his mouth, Mark knew it was fake.

Time flew quicker than Mark had expected it to, and that was probably since he was having fun. Every member slowly said their goodbyes and Mark extended his thanking everyone that came and then the fans that helped them be able to do a concert. Once Mark was finished, he turned to his right and watched as Donghyuck hastily grabbed his mic. The younger breathed into it and a loud sound echoed in the nearly quiet hall. He turned red with embarrassment, but kept a large smile over his face, somehow managing to conceal it.

As Donghyuck spoke, opening his mouth wide and carefully pronouncing the words, Mark zoned out. He stared at Donghyuck's face, a content grin on his face as he heard him speak in a language he once struggled greatly in. A few moments later he saw a hand reached over for Donghyuck's head, giving it a little pat, only to get pulled down by the younger. It only took him a few more moments to realise that it was, in fact,  _ his _ hand and that Donghyuck had rejected his touch for the first time. 

The anger he felt a few hours ago resurfaced and Mark almost felt like telling at himself for doing such a thing. Donghyuck had rejected him on camera, and nothing could be more embarrassing than that. You're own best friend, shying away from affection and pushing you away without any solid (or probably valid) reason. 

Yet, when Donghyuck smiled at Mark, flashing his front teeth before waving at the fans, Mark couldn't help but smile back. He should be feeling anger and confusion at that moment, but he felt his heart warm up at the sight of Donghyuck enthusiastically waving at the fans. 

"Bye-bye!" The members yelled together, bowing down and then making their way to the dressing room. Mark felt all his emotions wash away as a flood of fatigue fill him up. He rubbed his hands against his eyes, not caring about the eye makeup he had since he was already going to clean up, before looking back at Donghyuck.

Donghyuck took off his clothes and hurriedly stuffed himself into more casual clothing, and then stumbled over to Taeil. He grabbed his arm and pulled the shorter down by his weight. Mark eyed the two, a weird tug on his heart made him scrunch up his nose, and he turned his attention back to his bag, struggling to close it because of the number of things he had put in it.

Taeil brought a hand up to Donghyuck's cheek, gently caressing it before tilting his head down further to reach his eye level.

"You okay?" Taeil asked, sensing the sadness in the younger boys behaviour. 

"Yeah," Donghyuck replied, snuggling his face into Taeil neck. "I'm okay."


	5. Chapter 5

Yuta sighed for the nth time as he watched Donghyuck carefully take a seat beside him on the sofa. Normally, Donghyuck would jump onto the sofa, probably throw his hands over Yuta and make him spill his drink — and then Yuta would push him off and kick him in the backside. But this time, instead of whining about how affection-starved he was, Donghyuck sat by himself, a hand to his cheek and his eyes closed slowly. 

  
Yuta stared at Donghyuck as he tried to sleep, which he was failing to do so since the seats were highly uncomfortable and barely had any soft spots. They were all gathered in the lobby, on their way to their next location. Donghyuck, who had now lost his balance and nearly fallen off the seat, was clearly the most exhausted. It made sense, however, since the boy had just gotten back from his injury and already performed in Japan, only to then get pushed into Superhuman practice and then sent off on a tour. Not only did he manage to get through that, he also discovered the fact that he had a fear of heights — surprisingly, yes — and he learnt new choreography for the side tracks they never thought they'd perform.

  
With a sigh, Yuta reached over from his seat, giving Donghyuck a small tap on his shoulder and said, "Haechannie, come here."

  
After a few moments passed by and Donghyuck didn't respond, Yuta realised that the younger had fallen asleep, which was strange since he was in such an uncomfortable position. Yuta frowned, and then leaned forwards and grabbed Donghyuck's head with gentle hands, making sure he didn't get hurt. He pulled the younger down until his head reached his lap and let out a sigh. 

  
Donghyuck remained asleep as Yuta brushed his hands through his hair, softly tugging them behind his ear. The other members had never seen Yuta like this. Sure, he was caring and always made sure to keep the spirits of the group up, but he had never initiated skinship with Donghyuck, yet alone let him sleep on his lap. Truth be told, Yuta didn't do that with many people: only Sicheng, Taeyong and Mark. But then again that was because he would get annoyed at the others easily, though his love for them was great. 

  
Donghyuck shifted in his sleep and his closed eyes strained. With a worried look, Yuta leaned down to check what was wrong with him. He narrowed his eyes as Donghyuck let out a whimper, and then realised that it was because his knee was poking into the younger's ear. With a chuckle, Yuta raised Donghyuck's head a little and placed his sweater beneath him. A smile appeared on his face as he continued to stare at Donghyuck. It had been a while since he had last properly hung out with him, and whenever they did, it would be in silence and no one would speak for that particular period of time. 

  
Yuta missed Donghyuck, shockingly.

  
"What are you doing?" Mark asked from across the room as he eyed Yuta — only because he had a suspiciously creepy smile on his face, and kept patting Donghyuck's cheeks. Not because he was jealous, of course not.

  
"I'm admiring him," Yuta randomly answered, and Mark raised his eyebrows at this. He wasn't weirded out by the confession, since it was Yuta he was talking to, but still it seemed unusual.

  
A small giggle was heard from beneath Yuta, and he snapped his head down to see Donghyuck smiling like an idiot with his lips pursed. Yuta immediately jerked backwards, pushing Donghyuck off his lap and rolled his eyes as the younger cackled loudly. The stares they received by strangers was nothing compared to how embarrassed he felt: getting caught by Donghyuck.

  
"You were awake," Yuta groaned, rolling his eyes again and then huffed out a breath. Donghyuck continued to laugh and soon Yuta found himself laughing alongside him. It felt nice being the cause of Donghyuck's sweet laughter.

  
"Of course I was, no one falls asleep that quickly," Donghyuck sat back onto the chair and tucked his legs under his chin. He placed his hands over his knees and rubbed his head over them. Within a few seconds, Donghyuck's smile was long gone and his eyes were shut closed again. Yuta glanced over at Mark, who was also staring at Donghyuck before he turned back to the younger.

  
"No one falls asleep that quickly," Yuta mocked, tilting his head to the side and spoke in a high-pitched voice. He waited for Donghyuck's joke, but when he heard nothing, he let out a sigh. He reached over again, gently cupping Donghyuck’s head and brought it down to his lap. As he caressed the younger's hair, brushing through the tangled parts and the rough edges, Yuta began to click things together.

  
Something was up. Donghyuck was upset, or sad, or annoyed. Yuta couldn’t tell. He was known as the member who could immediately know when someone was hurt by their actions or if they were simply sad over something they considered small. But with Donghyuck, the boy who covered up all his problems with a smile, Yuta was clueless. It had been such a long time since he last heard Donghyuck utter the words “Yuta hyung”, in a cute voice, and then whine about how he wasn’t affectionate enough with him. It had been so long, and now Yuta understood what the problem was. Or at least he thought he knew.

  
“Haechannie,” Yuta whispered, leaning forwards so that the younger, who he thinks may be awake, would be the only one to hear him. “Why don’t you hang out with me anymore?”

  
Mark's head snapped up from Donghyuck’s face and his eyes landed on Yuta, who chose to ignore him and continue whispering his concerns to Donghyuck. Feeling a little awkward, Mark quickly plugged in his earphones and stuffed them into his ear. He blasted his music in an attempt to block out any noise, and it worked.

  
"I miss playing around with you," Yuta confessed, sighing as he realised he finally said what he wanted to say. He never thought he would be saying something like this to Donghyuck, since he was so used to being so distant with the younger. "Although you're annoying, and I feel like beating you up every now and then," Yuta paused, closing his eyes as he let out a sigh and said, "I enjoyed it."

  
Donghyuck turned around in Yuta's lap, so that his back was facing Yuta's stomach, and he made eye contact with Mark, who looked at him with confusion — the music was really loud. Yuta leaned down and blew air over Donghyuck's face, hoping to receive an action — even a whine or a huff would do — but got nothing. 

  
"Not all the members are into cuddling," Yuta stated and Donghyuck wanted to laugh. He would know that the best, since he had experienced their rejection everyday. What would Yuta know? He only spent his time chasing Sicheng and occasionally forcing Taeyong to slip under the covers and help him fall asleep. "You're the only member who chooses to willingly come to me and help me sleep."

  
Yuta thought back to the time when he was laying in bed, his body aching as his eyes were glued to the ceiling. The stress for the performance at their comeback stage was forcing him awake, and he couldn't bring himself to ask anyone to sleep with him — he's too old for that. But then a few minutes later (once everyone had left for their rooms and Yuta heard 'goodnight' get passed around before the lights switched off), Donghyuck creaked open the door to his room and snuck in, trying not to wake anyone up. 

  
It was strange when Donghyuck peeked over the covers to find Yuta staring back at him. He flinched at first before climbing in without hesitation. Yuta felt the younger tuck himself under his arms and curl his legs in. As Donghyuck made Yuta wrap himself around him, the older of the two felt sleep overcome him a lot quicker than he had expected it to come. The warmth the younger gave off, and the steady breathing he heard calmed his nerves down, followed by a small hand rubbing his back to soothe his back pain; all of it helped him sleep. 

  
But then as Yuta thought more about the past, he remembered how he had reacted to it all in the morning. When he woke up with his legs tangled around Donghyuck's, and Sicheng's eyes boring into his, Yuta had shoved Donghyuck off the bed, yelling a small excuse for why the younger was in his bed. He grimaced as he remembered the way Donghyuck looked up at him with a hurt expression before morphing it into a more pleased one, happy to have made the hyungs annoyed — it was clear he wasn't.

  
"Stop running away from us, please," Yuta whispered and brought his hand to Donghyuck's cheek, softly brushing away the hair that fell into his eye. "I miss you. We're sorry."

  
Donghyuck finally looked away from Mark, who had already gone back to scrolling on his phone, and stared at Yuta. He didn't expect Yuta to say the things he said, since they always had this playful atmosphere around them, the facade of the jokers never leaving them and heart-to-heart conversations never took place. He missed Yuta's presence, the older brother who went along with his jokes — yet still rejected him with harsh tugs and glares that could kill. The things Yuta did, they hurt.

  
Nonetheless, Donghyuck threw away his thoughts and smiled up at the older. He knew Yuta was sad, and he was the cause. The least he could do was get rid of that. "I'm always here for you, hyung."


	6. Chapter 6

Dong Sicheng was not a fan of cuddles and neither was he a fan of kisses and when it came to Donghyuck, he hated them even more. He didn't have anything against Donghyuck, of course not, he loved the kid, but it was just the idea of someone kissing his cheeks, or hands, or neck (since Donghyuck had a weird habit of kissing people there).

And recently, Donghyuck had suddenly stopped doing any of those things. At least, from what he could see, Donghyuck had stopped doing it with him. Not that he wasn't pleased with the idea that his neck wouldn't have some coloured marks on them — which would be so difficult to hide from fans, and even harder to explain what they were to the stylists — Sicheng was still missing them, surprisingly. He would enter the dressing room, and instinctively reach for the bottom of his neck, only to realise Donghyuck hadn't even come close to him for the past month, acting as if he was some sort of plague.

Now that they were on tour, all of them were busy with their own things. Sicheng was spending his time checking up on the WayV members, asking them if he had missed anything out, and Donghyuck was busy searching for places to visit. And during all of that time — since the tour was announced to when Donghyuck came back — Donghyuck had not approached Sicheng without any obligation.

The two of them were not close friends, probably far from it. Maybe it was because Donghyuck was the only member who was brave enough to make a joke about Sicheng's lack of lines, or about how his Korean pronunciation wasn't the best. But then again, Donghyuck was one of the only members who would lie down next to Sicheng and wrap an arm around his waist, pulling him closer as he speaks in a hushed voice. Donghyuck would complement his vocals and talk about how he wanted to learn some dance moves from him.

The only members Sicheng was comfortable with were: Jaehyun, Yuta, Renjun and Taeyong. That was because they were the first people who Sicheng had met, and they hadn't judged him the second he began to speak or when his dancing was slightly off because of old habits. Instead, they were the ones who told Sicheng he did a great job, and were his motivation to do better in the future.

When Donghyuck first met Sicheng, he looked at the older as if he was intimidating. As Sicheng never liked to speak much, because of his fear to mispronounce the words, his stoic expression scared Donghyuck, and then the one time the younger caught him speaking to Renjun in Chinese made him even more scared.

However, as time went on, Donghyuck slowly got over Sicheng's deep voice and sharp tone of speaking, since he then finally started to understand what he was talking about. Sicheng told Donghyuck about how life was in China, before he moved to Korea to become an idol, and weirdly enough, Donghyuck would sit there for hours and listen.

But they weren't close.

There was always one thing that annoyed Sicheng. It was the way Mark looked over at them whenever Donghyuck used to throw his arm over his shoulder and lean for a kiss. Mark would have this stern expression on his face, glaring at the two and then he would go back to playing with his nails, pretending as if he hadn't even looked over at them. It was strange, and it annoyed Sicheng. 

Mark would casually cuddle with Sicheng, claiming the fact that he was too cute and that he couldn't help himself even though he was constantly saying that he "hates skinship with a passion". But as Mark would cuddle with Sicheng, the two would glance over at Donghyuck, who would lower his head and focus his glassy eyes on the locked phone screen. Sicheng felt bad about that, of course he did. He knew that Donghyuck used to get a little jealous over things like this, not because Donghyuck had feelings for any of the two (well he wasn't too sure about that), but because he was always rejected by Mark, and majority of the time by Sicheng.

"You're lucky," Donghyuck once said to Sicheng, as he watched Mark exit the room after pinching his cheek.

Sicheng remembers clearly how he tilted his head up to stare at Donghyuck, who had his eyes fixated toward the closed door. The two sat in silence as the sound of the clock echoed in the half-empty room. Sicheng didn't know what to say, since he wasn't used to Donghyuck being so silent, or sad. It was strange. It wasn't like Donghyuck.

"How so?" Sicheng had asked, narrowing his eyes as Donghyuck sighed and stood up from his seat, his lips tugging down even further and widening the frown.

"At least hyung loves you," Donghyuck mumbled, walking past Sicheng and fiddling with the door handle, almost as if he was waiting for the older to say something, perhaps words of comfort. He snuck one last glance at him before opening the door and rushing out of it, leaving Sicheng alone in the room.

If only Sicheng had stopped him and said something.

He regretted it.

And so he was going to fix it.

After nearly a whole year or so, but he was going to do it now.

The door to Donghyuck's shared hotel room opened and then closed within a few seconds. Johnny, who had his arms thrown over Donghyuck's waist (since Donghyuck insisted their beds joined together) raised his head and then dropped back onto his pillow — he knew what Sicheng was here to do — he then released Donghyuck from his grip.

Feeling the warmth drift away, Donghyuck hummed in annoyance, and then turned around in his bed not expecting to face Sicheng.

"Move up Haechanie," Sicheng whispered, poking Donghyuck's sides and then making his way onto the bed. Donghyuck groaned as he felt Sicheng's elbows dig into his stomach, but still loosely wrapped his arm around his waist and pulled him closer. Sicheng felt Donghyuck's warm breath hit his neck and strangely enough, he felt relaxed. It was strangely comforting. Normally, if it was to happen under other circumstances, he would begin to worry about stylists, fan cameras, other members; but at that moment, he felt so relieved, and he unconsciously moved his body backwards, allowing the younger to envelop him into the hug.

Donghyuck noticed the movement and smiled at it. It had been so long since he had been so close with Sicheng, literally. Before the tour took place, Sicheng had disappeared to China for promotions, which happened to be before Donghyuck had started his mission to not be affectionate towards the members. Once Sicheng came back, the two had sat far away from each other, mostly because Yuta was always beside him, caressing his cheek or doing something cute with him.

Donghyuck leaned forwards and placed a kiss on Sicheng's neck, causing him to shiver due to the contrast in their body temperatures. Although Donghyuck had been wrapped in blankets and Johnny, he was still freezing cold. And his lips were even worse. When they touched Sicheng's neck for the second time, they were warmer than before, making the older melt under his lips. Sicheng guessed it was because Donghyuck's face had heated up.

Which it had. It had been so long since Donghyuck had kissed anyone, excluding Renjun (and his same-age friend was always complaining about the marks he left), on the neck, he found it embarrassing. 

The mattress sunk as Johnny, in his sleeping form, turned on the bed and threw a leg over the two bodies beside him. A small chuckle escaped Donghyuck's mouth, and Sicheng felt at ease.

Even if he hadn't said anything, he knew he had fixed things with Donghyuck.


	7. Chapter 7

"To the beach," Was the first thing Jungwoo had said as he marched into the room, a hand up in the air as he declared the fact that the entire group was going to have to follow him there for a vlog, and honestly, they weren't complaining. It was going to be nice to just take a day off and simply relax by the water, absorbing the heat from the sun and gaining more energy for their upcoming concerts — it was going to take a lot and they had to be prepared.

But there was one thing that was very difficult for Donghyuck. He had to keep his hands off Mark, as weird as it sounds. He was clearly failing to do so as he watched Mark skip down the path, his blonde hair bouncing with every jump and his eyes were squinted — he blames it on the sun but they all know it was because he stayed awake all night. Mark would occasionally turn around to look at Donghyuck and flash a smile at him as if they weren't avoiding each other — yes, Mark began to avoid him — for the past few days.

Normally, this wouldn't have affected Donghyuck as much as it did now. However, the reason it was making him so giddy (aside from the strange twist in his stomach every time he saw Mark smile) was because Mark was being affectionate with him. Shocking. He was picking Donghyuck up with his arms, spinning him around as their laughter echoed and they seemed surprised at how loud the younger two were. 

Donghyuck thought back to the live they had done before coming to the beach. It wasn't anything unusual, for the others at least, but when Mark placed his hands on Donghyuck's shoulder, hooked his chin over them, whispered jokes into the younger's ear as he read off the comments on the phone, Donghyuck couldn't help but feel his cheeks heat up.

The contrast between how Mark was acting with him before they came here — the cold shoulder and annoyed glares to wide smiles and giggly glances — was big. Donghyuck didn't know what made Mark do this, or just in general why he was doing this. Had someone told him about how he was upset with their behaviour? They wouldn't have, right? Donghyuck had made it very clear that he wanted them all to figure it out themselves so that they would be able to understand it more clearly — it didn't make much sense to Donghyuck let alone the other members, but they agreed to not tell the rest what was going on. 

As the live came to an end, Mark jumped up from his position by the bed and threw a hand over Donghyuck's, tugging him up onto his feet and continued to bounce up and down — he really was acting like a baby. Mark opened his mouth, and Donghyuck was honestly expecting another 'are you okay' but instead got a 'let’s go Fullsun!'

The simple nickname managed to lighten up Donghyuck's mood. Mark was known as one of the members that didn't like using nicknames (and it definitely wasn't because the other members could never think of a nickname which would suit him) so when 'fullsun' escaped Mark's tongue, Donghyuck felt as if all his problems disappeared.

The rest of the members had watched in shock as Donghyuck stuck by Mark's side when they walked to the beach. The younger had clung onto Mark and spoke to him as if they hadn't met in ages — which in some way was correct since when they ignored each other it meant they didn't talk about the exciting things that would happen to them.

On the beach, the older members eyed the two younger members as they ran around the beach, sand flying up and into eyes as they kicked their feet against it. They should've felt joy when they watched they play around like little kids, but the underlying annoyance that Mark was still oblivious to what was going on had overcome it all. It didn't take a genius to notice Donghyuck's problem, and the solution was so clear.

"I had to ask," Jaehyun said, peeling his eyes away from the duo as Donghyuck pushed Mark into the water despite his constant whining. "Why was Haechan avoiding us?"

The members who knew why, which was everyone else, glanced over at Jaehyun and shrugged, acting as if they didn't know anything as they promised. Jaehyun looked at them suspiciously, his eyes narrowed as he watched Sicheng cower behind Doyoung before he turned his attention back to Donghyuck and Mark — the duo had somehow managed to get into a more deeper side and looked like dots to Jaehyun. 

Jaehyun was always someone who accepted affection, always welcoming the hugs the members wanted and he was especially accepting when it came to Donghyuck. He allowed the younger to sometimes push their beds together in the dorm and then throw a leg over his. It made him feel warm, and he enjoyed the way sometimes Donghyuck would speak to him with slurred speech, mumbling about how Jisung had been sleeping on the floor and Donghyuck accidentally stepped on his face. But as everything has a good side to it, there was always bad as well. 

Whenever Jaehyun had the chance to pick someone to either be in his group or simply when he was told to choose between Donghyuck and others, he would blatantly pick the other option. He never picked Donghyuck, and it hurt him like hell. Again, even though Donghyuck knew about this and had acknowledged it multiple times, he was being childish. He was treating the people he cared about with a cold attitude only because they didn't treat him the way he wanted them to. Jaemin had been reinforcing the idea that they had to learn a lesson, and that it was for the better good, but Donghyuck couldn't help but feel guilt whenever he saw the members force smiles whenever he gave them a hug. 

Maybe it was better when they didn't know.

"Let's go back now," Taeyong called out, waving at the two kids in the light blue sea. As they kicked their feet and swam over to the shore, their limbs collided with each other and they slipped in the water. The two exchanged looks before bursting into fits of laughter, unable to control themselves. But as they neared the shore and Donghyuck caught glimpse of the way the managers were looking at them with a fond look in their eyes, he realised what he had been doing. 

Donghyuck facepalmed and rushed over to Taeil, ignoring the calls Mark gave out to him and tucked himself under the older's arm. 

"I messed up," Donghyuck whined, covering his face with his hands as he accidentally locked eyes with Mark whilst saying that. Taeil glanced over at him and laughed awkwardly, not knowing how else to react to that. They had thought that maybe Donghyuck had given Mark the best friend pass and forgiven him for the way he treated Donghyuck, but clearly not. "I'll do my best from now on!"

  
  
  
  


Mark was confused. He had spent the entire morning with Donghyuck: cracking jokes, eating breakfast, playing with the sand and simply having fun with him. But as soon as they reached the hotel — actually before that when they had just emerged from the water — Donghyuck had returned to his old sulky self from the day before. He began to ignore Mark again, avoided eye contact and made sure to prevent any conversation from starting up. 

"Why is Hyuck avoiding me again?" Mark asked Jaehyun, who shrugged and shot him an annoyed look, almost as if he was jealous Mark had gotten treated so nicely by Donghyuck in the morning. 

"I don't know," Jaehyun replied, eyeing Donghyuck as he placed his head onto Sicheng's shoulder and snuggled closer to him. "He hasn't stopped avoiding me at any point."

The two shared a confused glance and then turned back to Donghyuck. 

"But what I don't understand is," Mark continued, leaning closer to Jaehyun so that the other members wouldn't hear them. "He didn't avoid Jungwoo hyung or the dreamies at all."

Jaehyun nodded and then jerked his head back, confused as to why Donghyuck had shot a glare at their intimacy. It didn't make much sense but he was going to try his best to make sure that it did. The bus finally arrived at the venue of the concert and the members internally groaned, a little guilty about the fact that they were already too tired to perform perfectly.

"Let's do this!" Johnny cheered across the dressing room at the other members, who sleepily nodded along to what he said, not bothered to contribute anything to whatever Johnny was saying. Their head dropped low and they tried their best to not fall asleep. The members all kept their heads low and waited for the concert to begin.

Jaehyun, on the other hand, had other plans. He was tired of getting ignored and wanted to get to the bottom of this issue. He silently waited for the makeup artist to finish up with him before he got up and strode over to Donghyuck.

"Haechan, can we talk?"

The other members in the room all watched them leave from the corner of their eyes, anticipation growing in them as they fidgeted with their clothes. Well, it was everyone except for Mark. The rest had sighed in relief when they realised that this meant the two 'perfect roommates' were finally going to return to normal and stop being upset with each other.

"What's wrong?" Jaehyun asked immediately, choosing to not waste any time in getting the question out of his system. The door hadn't even closed but it wasn't as if they had all day to be discussing the matter.

"What do you mean, what's wrong?" Donghyuck countered. He knew exactly what was wrong — it was intentional after all — but he wanted a clearer question, something that would tell Donghyuck that his behaviour didn't go unnoticed and the older had genuinely realised he was acting up.

"Why have you been so distant?" Jaehyun finally asked, brushing a hand through his hair, knowing that his stylist would most probably kill him for that, but still kept his eyes fixed on Donghyuck.

"Because hyung," Donghyuck took a deep breath and explained why he was so annoyed at him, and the rest of the members. Jaehyun's eyes slowly widened and he nodded along to what Donghyuck was saying. He had never known that Donghyuck had taken the things he had said to him to heart since Donghyuck would always laugh along and then change the topic.  _ Oh _ .

"We're all so sorry," Jaehyun apologised, reaching forwards and pulling Donghyuck into a hug. The younger instantly fit into his arms and they both let out a sigh of content. It had been a while since they had last hugged, and to say that Jaehyun hadn't missed it would be a lie.

"It's alright," Donghyuck smiled into Jaehyun's shoulder and then pulled away, looking up at Jaehyun to reassure him that everything was fine now with a large smile.

"We're going up now," Yuta said as the other members exited the room, gesturing for the two to join them. The group all climbed up the stage and took their places, all revealing themselves one after the other. 

On the stage, Mark kept on turning to Donghyuck and catching his eyes. He smiled at Donghyuck, which caused him to smile back, without even saying any words. Although Donghyuck was annoyed at him, he couldn't stop himself from smiling back at Mark or laughing along with the things he said, even when he had no idea what he was saying.

It was just something between them, and they couldn't explain it. Their friendship was too strong, and maybe that's why Mark unknowingly took advantage of it.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while :)

Donghyuck clearly remembers the day Jaehyun had entered the main lobby and announced to them that he wanted someone to join him on his day out in New York. After multiple people yelling and shouting, Mark had jumped out from behind the crowd and thrown himself over Jaehyun, talking about how he would be the best person to go out with (and after the trip Jaehyun agreed with that statement). Donghyuck also remembers how Doyoung had entered the room, his eyes narrow and full of wonder. He looked around the room, eyeing everyone before asking Jungwoo to accompany him — he said he was the most mature one out of them all and to some extent, the others couldn't disagree with that. 

He also remembers the way Jungwoo had waltzed into the room, a determined expression on his face as he ignored Doyoung's outstretched hand and picked Johnny. They both shared a strange smile between them two and no one bothered asking them what it meant. 

But then when it came to Donghyuck's turn, and he awkwardly shuffled into the room, a piece of paper which included the name of the place they were going to ("arb-arboto-arbor— you know what, I'll just let hyung say the name"), he glanced around the room and tried to push down the pain he felt when they all groaned. He knew it was probably because none of them wanted to hang out with him — it's okay, it's perfectly okay — but he tried to fool himself into thinking it's just because they're tired. It's not because of him. 

A whole ten minutes of silence passed before Donghyuck mentioned his trip. Everyone in the room froze for a few seconds, probably grimacing over the fact that Donghyuck had finally mentioned it and now they had to pick between them all. But before anyone could say anything, Mark jumped up from the ground, brushing off imaginary dirt before smiling at Donghyuck.

"I'll come with you," He said and immediately left the room. Donghyuck stood his ground, shocked that out of all the people who had volunteered to go with him, it was Mark. He was more confused than shocked, as shown by his wide eyes and raised eyebrows, but he was also happy. Although Donghyuck had avoided Mark for the longest time now, and he was probably the cause of Donghyuck's inner annoyance and frustration, he was the one that Donghyuck wanted to see the most. It was strange but Donghyuck felt more angry seeing Mark cuddle with Jungwoo rather than seeing Taeil jump onto Johnny. 

"So where are we going?" Mark asked, snapping Donghyuck out of his little daydream and then gestured towards the camera pointed towards them. (Was he only doing this because of the fans?) 

"I don't really know," Donghyuck said slowly, glancing over to the manager and smiling at the way he facepalmed, annoyed because he had told Donghyuck the name of the place almost ten times before already. "Oh wait," Donghyuck closed his eyes to think, remembering just the first few sounds of the words before giving up and saying, "Some garden place."

Mark lifted his eyebrow and then shot the manager a look. He wasn't against going to see flowers and other nature related things but, was it really just that? They couldn't possibly spend 5 hours at a garden.

"And then we'll go eat," Their manager added and shook his head when Donghyuck flashed a cheeky smile.

The trip to the arboretum wasn't bad, or at least that's what Donghyuck prefers to say. He had started playing music on the way there, his weak attempt to distract Mark so that they wouldn't need to converse, but of course, Mark had other plans. He spoke in English and kept asking Donghyuck questions. Mark clinged onto Donghyuck's side at one point and it was driving the younger mad. All those months ago, Mark would shy away from skinship, yet here he was doing it himself. He really had to stop sending mixed signals.

Mark tried hard to made Donghyuck speak. He really did, the constant chatter, the asking of questions, the glances. It was all too much, in all honesty. Donghyuck amazingly managed to stay quiet for most of the trip, since he didn't exactly know how to phrase his words in another language and chose to let Mark do all the work. Obviously the older noticed this and but there wasn't much that he could do.

"Let's get some food," Mark said, grabbing Donghyuck's arm and tugged him towards the exit. Donghyuck's eyes wandered down Mark's arm and got fixated on their intertwined fingers. He smiled shyly and clutched onto Mark's hand more tightly. It wasn't everyday that Mark chose to touch him.

As Mark had said previously, he hated skinship. He hated it when anyone would come close to him and invade his personal space. It just felt uncomfortable. However, Mark would happily initiate it with others, because that's the only time he felt comfortable doing it, and Donghyuck understood. What he didn't get was why Mark would never initiate anything with him. Was he that repulsive?,

"Did you bring your wallet?" Mark asked, narrowing his eyes at Donghyuck and then looked down to pull out his own. Donghyuck rolled his eyes and let out a scoff, immediately reaching down into his pocket and threw his wallet onto the table. Mark paused for a second and burst into laughter, clapping his hands like he always did. "Okay, okay. Well done."

Mark placed his wallet beside him and then turned to the staff, asking them about when they could order. Donghyuck glanced at the camera, and then at Mark, who had started to sing. He slyly slid his hand to the left and 'accidentally' grabbed Mark's wallet. He brought it up to his face and scanned the image. It was of Mark as a baby. He was holding onto a bat and was smiling like a fool at the camera. Donghyuck felt his cheeks warm up as he smiled at the picture. Mark always looked cute. 

"Ah!" Mark shrieked as he snatched the wallet from him and his eyes widened. It wasn't an embarrassing picture, just one he hadn't shown anyone and didn't want to show anyone. "Privacy!"

Mark turned to the camera and then pointed at Donghyuck with his pinky, shaking his head as he sat back in his seat. The smile on his face widened as Donghyuck leaned over to check the picture again, despite already getting a clear view of it earlier. Even if it was just for the camera, Donghyuck was treating him normally, and he was glad. He still needed to find out what was wrong, but for the moment he just wanted to enjoy the others presence.

"One second," Donghyuck put his hand up towards Mark as they got up to leave the restaurant. Mark nodded and then turned to the camera, starting to speak about how much he enjoyed visiting the arboretum. When he realised he was making no sense and was practically rambling, he held up two fingers and made a scissors sign, one that he knew the editors would immediately understand the meaning of. 

Mark looked around the area and then realised that Donghyuck was standing near the benches, posing with his arms up. A grin broke out on his face and he hurried to join the younger. 

Why was he so happy?

Because he got to spend the whole day with Donghyuck.

"How was the day out?" Taeyong asked as soon as Donghyuck and Mark returned. Mark nodded and spurted some nonsense before rushing to his room to get changed. Donghyuck posted the last of the few pictures he took with Mark and sat down beside Johnny and Taeyong.

"It was good," He replied, staring at the door through which Mark had gone into. It was nice talking to Mark again, messing around with him, and randomly breaking into a song. But Mark still didn't bring up the issue at hand. The fact that Donghyuck was ignoring him. It was as if Mark didn't even realise there was a problem, but then again that wasn't true since he had already asked him once before with zero effort. So then maybe Mark just didn't care about the problem between them. Maybe he thought it was nothing and was blowing it off. 

"Did Mark...?" Johnny trailed off and shuffled closer to Donghyuck, wrapping an arm around him. As he did that, he awkwardly pat his arm and Donghyuck felt his stomach drop. (Of course they would act like this towards him, they don't like hugs but now they're forced to give them). 

"No," Donghyuck answered and sighed with a pout. "He's been avoiding the whole situation, I doubt he even wants to fix things."

Taeyong and Johnny exchanged looks and then put their hands over Donghyuck's knee.

"I'm sure he wants to fix it but just... you know, doesn't know what to say?" Taeyong said, bringing his other hand to Donghyuck's shoulder, hoping that it could comfort the younger but instead caused him to feel even worse. They were really trying their best to force skinship with him now. "But I suggest you forget about that right now."

"Yeah," Johnny chimed, letting a smile take over his face. "Listen, don't get us wrong but, the fans love your dynamics with Mark. You guys are like two cute children who bicker all the time but also love each other. So just...forget about the whole trying to make Mark understand. I know it's important for you however, we're on tour. We need to make sure this rolls on well. Can this wait until the tour ends?"

Donghyuck slowly nodded and lowered his gaze. He had pretend for long enough that he was alright with the constant rejection from all the members, but now he had to continue despite nearly the whole group knowing. Donghyuck was alright with them pushing him away —of course he was, not everyone is a fan of skinship— but when they pushed him away just to pull someone else close, that's what hurt him. Was it really that hard to just give him a short hug and at least conceal the awkwardness that it held?

The door to the room opened and Mark wobbled in, rubbing his eyes gently and dropped down onto the sofa. Donghyuck ignored the way his face lit up at the sight of Mark in an oversized sweater and large sweatpants and tried to look away from him. That was, until Mark forced Doyoung to open his arms and slid into them, casually hugging Doyoung as if it meant nothing. Donghyuck's already bad mood got worse and the guilt of feeling jealous towards his best friends stabbed him in his chest. He had no right to feel jealous or betrayed. Doyoung and Mark didn't owe him anything.

The feeling of guilt and jealousy, he had to get rid of them quickly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [cc](https://curiouscat.me/deelonghyuck)


	9. Chapter 9

Mark had had enough. 

The whole day has passed yet Donghyuck hadn't spared even a single glance at him. What was his problem? Why was he acting like this? Mark didn't understand. But that wasn't even the real reason as to why Mark felt like ripping his hair out. As they were having concerts, whenever the two would climb the stage and begin their performances, Donghyuck's entire attitude towards him changed. Instead of averting his eyes whenever they met Mark's, Donghyuck would send him a smile, give him a push and then sometimes he would even bless him with a side hug.

Mark didn't like this. He enjoyed the attention, sure, but what came after it was what annoyed him.

As soon as they stepped off the stage, breathless and exhausted, whenever Mark would reach out for Donghyuck's shoulder, a question asking him about whether or not he'd like to get dinner with him on his tongue, Donghyuck would shrug his attempt off and hurriedly cling onto another member. 

Just as Mark felt special, a little glad that Donghyuck was finally back to normal with him, the younger would crush his hopes and take away all his love and affection. It was bothering Mark. Why was Donghyuck acting as though Mark was a disease that needed to be avoided? 

Mark had truly had enough.

"Donghyuck, what the hell is your problem?" Mark barked as he grabbed Donghyuck's arm, spinning him around and glared at the younger. Donghyuck flinched at the harsh tone but immediately regained his composure. He wasn't going to be shouted at by just someone. He wasn't  _ that _ weak.

"What do you mean, Mark hyung?" Donghyuck asked with venom dripping in his voice and he jerked his wrist away from Mark's grip, hissing at the stinging feeling of a burn. Mark's eyes dropped to his wrist and then back up to his face, his expression clearly showing that he wanted to ask if it hurt but his mind was fogged with anger. 

"You know exactly what I mean," Mark replied and put a hand to Jaehyun, stopping him from coming any closer and turned his attention back to Donghyuck. "First, you ignore me, for some reason I do not know about. Second, you act as if I'm some horrible person. But then on stage you give me hugs as if we were in normal terms. What is your problem?"

"My problem," Donghyuck started, ignoring Yuta's small hands which grabbed onto his shoulders. He shrugged them off and clenched his fists. This was the first time Mark had properly gotten mad at Donghyuck. Of course, there were times when the two would have arguments, but it always got solved before it could escalate. One of the two, majority of the time Mark, would apologise for what they had done wrong and everything would go back to normal. 

"Yeah? What is it?" Mark questioned, taking a step forward and poked Donghyuck's shoulder in a petty move. The rest in the room internally groaned at his action. "Just tell me."

"Well," Donghyuck scoffed and the others grimaced as they remembered what he was going to say. "My problem is that you guys push me away all the time." Donghyuck copied Mark's action and pushed his shoulder. "You guys call me things just because I don't complain," Donghyuck repeated his move and pushed Mark with more force. "You all think I don't see it, but I know you all good some sort of a grudge against me."

Donghyuck pushed Mark again, causing Mark to stumble into Jaehyun's arms. The room fell silent as Donghyuck walked closer to Mark, placing his hand on Mark's shoulder. 

"My problem is that you all think I'm some sort of joke," Donghyuck continued, his voice wavering as he spoke and everyone around them were frozen in their spot. "You don't like hugging me, alright. You all choose each other over me, okay, I understand. I'm annoying, I know. But can you seriously not even act as if you guys care about me? Is it that hard? Just to pretend?"

Mark's eye twitched at that and he stood up straight, pushing Jaehyun away — and he didn't make much of an effort to grab onto Mark again as he was as shocked as the others. Mark slapped Donghyuck's hand away from him and stepped forward in anger. Donghyuck was in no place to misjudge his feelings. Mark cared for him deeply, so Donghyuck couldn't use that against him. Sure Mark pushed Donghyuck vaway most of the time, but he never cared about Donghyuck less than anyone else.

"Donghyuck, you're such a child!" Mark exclaimed and chuckled bitterly. "You're actually getting annoyed over the fact that, what? We don't baby you!"

Johnny's eyes widened comically and he moved forward to stop Mark from saying anything else. But before he could, Mark turned to glare at him, something he never did, and shook his head.

"No hyung, he needs to hear this," Mark said and then turned back to Donghyuck. "Fine, we choose each other over you. But have you ever thought of why we do that? Have you never thought that maybe  _ you're _ the one in the wrong. Ever thought about that, hm? That you're acting so immature that it's actually hard to be your friend?"

Donghyuck stared at Mark with a straight face and tried his best to hold his emotions in. But as Mark came to an end of his sentence, Donghyuck couldn't control it.

"What do you mean?" Donghyuck shook his head furiously, digging his nails into the palms of his hands. "I'm not asking you to baby me! And I know I'm not doing anything wrong, if I was then why would I have friends like the dream members?"

"That's because they're babies like you!" Mark yelled, causing everyone to flinch. Mark took deep breaths as he calmed himself down. The rest in the room looked at him with disbelief and shock. Mark normally never raised his voice at people — he didn't like conflict between friends. So seeing him like this was surprising. "They're just babies like you. They're loud and don't know when to stop, but at least when talking to us they're mature! That's why we—"

Mark stopped mid way through his sentence and he watched Donghyuck's eyes water up. He knew what Mark was going to say next, he expected it. Donghyuck lowered his arms and took a deep breath, trying his best to not burst into tears. Not here. Not in front of them.

"We what, hyung?" Donghyuck smiled softly, his eyes softening as Mark sighed. "That's why you guys like them more than me? Is that it? You like to spend more time with them? Give them hugs? Love? Am I really that annoying?"

The way Donghyuck spoke hurt everyone. He spoke with pain and no one could find themselves correcting him. He wasn't annoying, at least not in the way he was talking about, but what he had said was true. They hadn't been treating him right and he knew. They all knew. Donghyuck wiped at his eyes roughly and laughed a little.

"None of you can answer that, can you?" Donghyuck ran a hand through his hair and took a step away from all of them. They all held their heads low as Donghyuck moved around the room. The door to the dressing room opened and their managed strolled in.

"Alright! We need to go home," He said and glanced around the room to see that they had all circled themselves around Mark and Donghyuck, who had been rubbing his face with a wipe. "Haechan, what's—"

Before the manager could finish his sentence, Donghyuck smiled at him, his red eyes and flushed cheeks completely ruining it, and dashed past him to leave the room. Everyone looked at each other, not knowing what to do as they had all thought they had returned to good terms with Donghyuck. Little did they know that they hadn't truly fixed anything. Instead, they had just proved Donghyuck's conclusion, unknowingly.

"Okay," The manager stuffed his phone into his pocket and pinched the bridge of his nose, sighing into his hand before he looked up at the members. "Which one of you did that to him?"

They looked at each other.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I read over this like once so there are probably a lot of mistakes in this. Anyways, stream kick it!!

Mark was right. Donghyuck was childish. He threw tantrums whenever someone didn't listen to him, he pouted and playfully cried when someone was to be rude to him. Even Donghyuck's decision to stop showing affection towards the members was childish. He shouldn't have listened to Jaemin. He should've known better. There was a reason as to why Donghyuck was put into another sub-unit; he had responsibility to be mature. Sure, he was the maknae of the unit, but that didn't mean he was supposed to be childish.

Maybe if Donghyuck didn't act so out of character, it wouldn't have been so awkward at the breakfast table.

"Have some of this, Haechannie," Taeil offered with a sweet smile. Donghyuck glanced from between the bowl of rice and Taeil before accepting it hurriedly, returning a soft smile he wished looked genuine — it didn't and they all knew.

The night was worse than this. Once everyone reached the hotel, Johnny had entered the hotel room to find a sniffling Donghyuck, tucked under the sheets. Donghyuck's bed dipped and a pair of hands slid beneath the sheets, trying to get the younger out of his little cave, but he refused and pulled the sheet right about over his head. He wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone, but could you blame him? His best friend of many years had yelled at him for the first time in...well, many years. 

Mark wasn't the type to use anger and irrational ways to solve a problem (he wasn't like Donghyuck). Mark would sit down with people and explain his problem with them. It was obvious that he was going to be expecting Donghyuck to have done the same. But of course, Donghyuck hadn't.  _ Donghyuck was childish, Mark wasn't. _

"Thanks," Donghyuck mumbled and passed the bowl back to Taeil before stealing a glance at Mark. The older had been staring at his plate ever since Donghyuck had entered the room. He wasn't sure if Mark was like this because of him or because he was just tired. Both would make sense.

It was obvious that Donghyuck wasn't the only one affected. The dark eye bags of all the members caused him to feel guilty. They were tired and exhausted because of him. He had one job — to be a moodmaker — and he couldn't even do that well. They were on tour and Donghyuck had made everything worse. He felt bad. This was his fault.

Yet, there was a small part within him shaking his head, disagreeing with him. He couldn't find himself blaming himself completely. If Mark had just asked him politely, sat him down and actually talked to him about everything, it could've been so much better. Mark was normally so level headed, so why did he lash out this time?

When Donghyuck had stormed out of the dressing room, leaving everyone else inside shocked, their manager had repeated his question and then waited for an explanation. The members looked at each other in shame, but Mark could feel most of their eyes on him. Their manager, seemingly catching on to what was going on, had told Mark that he was in the wrong and simply left the room without waiting for an explanation. There was silence and no one even tried to comfort Mark, to tell him that he wasn't the only one at fault.

Donghyuck wasn't the only child in their group. Just because Mark was once the leader of Dream and just because Mark had done things that only older artists did (and tolerated Donghyuck's behaviour) didn't mean he wasn't allowed to slip up every now and then. Having a strong back and calm mind is difficult, not everyone can be like that all the time. Mark, obviously, felt bad about what happened between him and Donghyuck, but that didn't mean he was the only one that was in the wrong. 

He wanted to know why, after so many years of love and care, Donghyuck had suddenly left his side for the past three months. It didn't make sense. Mark didn't understand. He had never done anything—

"Oh," Realisation dawned upon him and his eyes wavered from his plate, almost raising his head to stare back at Donghyuck, but the guilt forced them back down.

"Anyways," Taeyong tore his eyes off Mark and put his fork down, catching everyone's attention. He took a deep breath and glanced in Donghyuck's general direction. "We have one last concert left, so can we please pretend to be normal? At least in front of the fans?"

The members all slowly nodded as the heavy weight of awkwardness pushed them to look over at Donghyuck. The younger averted his eyes but nodded nonetheless. It was going to be hard to pretend as though everything was alright. But then again, Donghyuck had everything under control before he followed Jaemin's advice. It wasn't good to hold in your emotions, however, this was the only way.

"Donghyuck," Sicheng whispered, placing his hand on Donghyuck's thigh and tilted his head towards him. "Can we please talk about yesterday?"

Donghyuck stiffened at the mention of that and tried his best to not shove Sicheng's hand off. It was making him uncomfortable. They were going to ask about yesterday and the things he said. They were probably going to be angry at him — how could he doubt their friendship? He had taken all their actions negatively and assumed none of them actually cared about him. The guilt was enormous in the room. Donghyuck looked at Mark, who still had his eyes fixed on his plate but his blank expression had been replaced with a sad one.

"What do you want to talk about?" Donghyuck asked although he already knew what was coming. He couldn't escape this. They had to talk things out sooner or later since they weren't going to be ignoring each other. Renjun had told him that  _ teamwork is the most important thing in a group _ and if there's none of that, the group can fall apart easily. Donghyuck didn't want them to fall apart.

"You know we all love you, right?" Sicheng said, tightening his grip on Donghyuck's thigh, the small smile on his face became more and more sad when Donghyuck didn't answer. "We really do love you. And we don't treat you any differently from the Dream members."

Donghyuck let out a sigh at the words. He expected them. He knew that was going to be their answer. He had already heard a sorry from everyone — except Mark — yet none of them sounded genuine. The apology they made became useless only a few days after as they all returned to their normal antics. The pushing and groaning was clear and Donghyuck couldn't filter out the things he heard. The only times Donghyuck was given a hug was when they wanted it. 

"Mhm," Donghyuck hummed, feeling his heart ache as he looked up at Sicheng with a weak smile. There was no way they could fix this at this rate. They weren't understanding what Donghyuck had meant. He didn't just want a pathetic sorry or a hug with a deep meaning he was too tired to look into. Donghyuck wanted to be treated the same as the others. He wanted to be loved by the members. 

They never did it intentionally, he knew. He was sure his friends (that were brotherly figures for them) would never hurt him on purpose. Donghyuck had debuted with them, so their minds had altered the image they had for Donghyuck before (the little child with little devil friends) into a responsible kid that knew what he was doing. He was younger than both Jeno and Renjun, but wasn't treated the same way as them. It hurt.

The dream members, including Jungwoo, had grown up with Donghyuck. They used to shower him with as much love as he would send their way. The kisses from Jaemin, the cuddles from Jeno, the soft praises from Chenle; it was always so overwhelming.

"So do you forgive us?" Doyoung asked the big question from across the table, snapping Donghyuck out of his trance. He heard Mark make a noise of surprise when Doyoung had spoken but kept his eyes to the table. As much as he wanted to say yes, give them a hug and allow for all of this to just get brushed under the carpet, he couldn't trust their words as much anymore. What was the possibility that they weren't going to push him away? He just couldn't. 

"No," Donghyuck finally said and licked his dry lips, the stress looming over his head and he quickly stuffed his face with food. As he got up from the table, he caught Mark's eyes, the dark emptiness almost catching him off guard. "I'm sorry."

With that, Donghyuck spun around and began to walk away, feeling his body heat up from nervousness and dread. He knew he was going to have to forgive them one day or another — team work was important, as Renjun said — because they needed to trust each other and make sure their group wasn't falling apart. However, today was not that day. 

And honestly, Donghyuck couldn't see that day being anywhere close.


	11. Chapter 11

Jaemin groaned as he opened the door to the dorm, only actually straightening up when he was met with a teary eyed Donghyuck. Without asking any questions, Jaemin took a hold of Donghyuck's hand and gently guided him to the sofa, being careful of not saying anything to him. Donghyuck collapsed onto it and pulled Jaemin down with him, throwing a leg over him to make sure that the taller wouldn't move away. 

"Hey," Jaemin ran a hand through Donghyuck's hair and then cupped his face. "What's wrong? Did something happen? Why'd you come here straight from the airport?"

Donghyuck shut his eyes and internally groaned. He didn't even want to think about what happened at the airport. During the flight, Jungwoo had been talking to him non-stop, trying to keep his mind off everything, but he could feel everyone else's eyes on him. The way they walked past every other hour, shooting Jungwoo a look of concern, which he shrugged off and continued to talk with Donghyuck. 

The flight felt longer than ever and through the entire duration, only Mark made no effort to reach out to him. He didn't know why the older wasn't even bothered in fixing anything, but he guessed it was his fault. After all, he was the childish one, right?

A tap from Jaemin brought him back to reality and Donghyuck raised his eyes slowly, staring at Jaemin with a blank face. He was too tired to discuss things with him. Then again, what good came out from talking to Jaemin last time? A plan was formulated, but after Donghyuck conducted it, everything fell apart. Mark wasn't talking to him, the members all probably thought he was too childish and were just checking up on him.

"Had a fight with the members," Donghyuck finally mumbled after Jaemin kept staring at him. He wrapped his arms around Jaemin and pouted. "Specifically, with Mark hyung."

"Mark hyung?" Jaemin echoed, confusion clear in his voice. Obviously he was going to be shocked. Mark wasn't one to have arguments, especially not with Donghyuck. How frustrated was he to have had one with Donghyuck?

"Asked me why I was being cold," Donghyuck explained, snuggling his head into Jaemin's neck. His voice was small as he spoke, and it only got smaller and he continued. "I told him it was because of the way they treated me," Donghyuck paused to sigh and Jaemin watched intently as he finished his sentence. "He called me childish."

Jaemin averted his eyes for a second, an unreadable expression crossed his face as he shook his head. "Donghyuck, I'm so sorry. I should've never suggested that you ignore them."

"It's not your fault," Donghyuck smiled at him and poked his cheek. "I shouldn't have taken it that far." 

Jaemin looked unconvinced and Donghyuck felt even worse. So not only had he ruined everything with the older members, but he made one of his best friends feel guilty over something that wasn't his fault — entirely, at least.

"You weren't being childish," Jaemin said softly, placing a hand over the one Donghyuck had pressed flat against his cheek. "You were hurt and just...found a creative way to take it out on them. If they were so bothered by your behaviour, then they should've asked you what was wrong, not hold their pride and ego to their chest. Everyone's allowed to do things like that every once in a while."

Donghyuck shut his eyes and tugged on Jaemin's shirt with his other hand. He wasn't sure whether or not to believe Jaemin — especially after the last time he did. Sure, he had already been thinking about ignoring the members, but was that really the best idea? Donghyuck was in the wrong to ignore the members rather than talk his problem out (like an adult). He couldn't blame it on Jaemin nor the older members. Of course, Donghyuck had already tried other methods, and he did speak to the members in the end, but did that help?

"I don't know what to do," Donghyuck whispered, his voice cracking at the end as his grip of Jaemin's shirt got tighter. Just as Jaemin opened his mouth to speak, Jeno entered the room, climbing on top of the two and pushed Jaemin off.

"You may have been acting a little childish," Jeno took Donghyuck's hands and brought them to his chest. "But they should've put more effort into working things out with you. I was against this from the start and I wish I had stopped you when I found out, but what's done is done. Don't put yourself down because of whatever they've said. I don't know what's going through their minds but you know how they are. I'm sure none of them are doing this to purposely hurt you.

"What I'm trying to say," Jeno took a deep breath and continued his monologue. "You don't need to forgive them immediately. Take your time and let them talk to you slowly. Nothing has to be done in one go. They don't deserve forgiveness that easily."

Donghyuck listened to Jeno and nodded slowly, a little surprised by the sudden talk from him. He glanced at Jaemin, who shrugged his shoulders. When Jeno had found out about his plan, he was against it. He had already warned Donghyuck that fights could come out of it, but Donghyuck and ignored his advice, thinking that his plan would being something good. However, it clearly didn't. Even though Jeno wanted to throw in Donghyuck's face that he was right, yet again and Donghyuck was wrong, the sight of his friend sulking made him uncomfortable. He didn't know the whole story but knew that Donghyuck was hurt. As long as Donghyuck was hurt, all he wanted was for them to apologise. 

"What if it causes more problems?" Donghyuck asked, looking at Jeno with large eyes. Jaemin poked Donghyuck's frown from over Jeno and pouted when nothing changed. 

"Donghyuck-ie," Jeno whispered, leaning forward and placed his forehead on Donghyuck's — something he hadn't done in ages and Donghyuck had assumed he didn't like it — and looked at him straight in the eyes. "You have us. If anything happens, just remember we're here."

Jaemin glanced over his shoulder and watched as Renjun gave him a questioning look. He shot him a smile and gestured for him to come over. Renjun wobbled him, feeling a little out of place until Jeno pulled him down onto them. 

Donghyuck smiled as he realised they were trying to take care of him without saying much. His heart swelled when Renjun, someone who only occasionally entertained Donghyuck's need for affection, grabbed his hand and caressed it softly. 

If things didn't work out with the older members, at least he had them.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


—

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Donghyuck barely managed to pull his leg out from Jeno's grip before he fell into the ground, just about managing to hold himself up as Jaemin's face was the first thing he saw. He grunted a little as he forced himself up, hoping none of the members had woken up and dragged himself to the door, sneaking out as quietly as he could. He knew that the older members were going to be worried about him, or at least he hoped so, and that was why he was leaving the comfort of the kids to return to them. 

He entered the dorm and saw that the light to the living room was still on. Donghyuck frowned as he looked down at his watch before tiptoeing over to check out what was going on. He poked his head through the small opening in the door and saw all the members — except for Mark, sprawled across the room, each and every one of them in their own little daydream. 

Deciding to mind his own business, Donghyuck pulled his head back to leave, but ended up hitting it on the door and created a loud noise (and no, the noise wasn't his scream of pain). The member's all shook back into consciousness and turned to the door. Their eyes widened as they saw Donghyuck trying to sneak out whilst clutching onto the back of his head in agony.

"Donghyuck!" Jaehyun exclaimed, jumping off the sofa and ran over to Donghyuck, grabbing his shoulders to hold him in place. "We need to talk."

Before Jaehyun could continue, Donghyuck muttered a, 'no, hyung', and escaped his grip, running to refuge in his room, even though he was sharing it with him. When he got in, his chest aching because of the many calls he ignored, Donghyuck slipped into more comfortable clothing that he had left on the side for himself and dropped his shirt to the floor. He sat on his bed and put his head in his hands. He had a throbbing headache yet had no energy to go get any medicine.

He wanted to talk to the members about what had happened, but at the same time he didn't. Jeno had said take it slow, yet there was a fear inside him. What if they lost interest in making things better? What if they couldn't be bothered with Donghyuck's dramatics and gave up? Donghyuck thinks that hurts more than getting snapped at the way Mark did. He didn't want anyone else to start hating him, but he didn't want to leave everything the way it was either.

"I'm tired," Donghyuck whispered to himself as his words got muffled by his hands. Exhausted flooded his body as he fell back in his bed, breathing softly as the cold sheets pressed against his heated skin. "I'm so tired."

Donghyuck took short breaths and he repeated it to himself. The stress and tiredness from the tour finally took a toll on him as he felt his muscles begin to ache. He tried his best to muffle his sobs by clasping his hands over his mouth. It didn't work. Thoughts of Mark flashed in his head and— it was all too much. 

What if the Dream members also get tired of his affection one day? What if they start pushing him away as well? Donghyuck knows he wouldn't be able to handle it if another member rejects him. Sure, he did it all as a joke before, thriving off the way they used to coil away from him. It was all funny and nothing but jokes before. But now, after Donghyuck got into a habitat of getting hugs, it felt weird when they pushed him away. Did they not like his hugs that much?

Donghyuck kept his eyes shut as he felt warm tears roll down his already hot cheeks. His hands became wet as his sobs got louder. There was a ringing in his ear and only after it went away did he head how loud he was. Donghyuck bit into the heel of his palm and sighed in frustration. Why did he have to make up such a stupid plan? He could've just continued his life like normal, then none of this would've happened. 

"Donghyuck," his eyes snapped open at the sound of someone's voice and he sat up, searching around the room to find the source. His head spinned at the sudden change and he had to freeze in place to regain himself. "I'm here."

A hand from behind grabbed his shirt and pulled him back into the bed. The blanket was thrown onto him and Donghyuck gulped when he came to face the red shirt. He cursed internally and raised his head, hoping that the person laying beside him wasn't who he thought. But of course, nothing was going his way recently.

"Mark hyung?" He asked softly, grimacing at the crack in his voice. Mark frowned at him and they fell into silence for a moment before Mark lead Donghyuck's arm to his waist and pulled him into a hug. He didn't let the younger say anything else and gently placed his hand over his head.

"Sleep," was all that Mark had said before Donghyuck felt everything get lifted from his chest. All the stress and worry that had been haunting him previously vanished and Donghyuck felt sleep tug on his eyelids, forcing him to close them. The last thing Donghyuck felt were Mark's arms tightening around him and his breath blew over his head. Just before falling asleep, he heard Mark say something, but couldn't make it out. 

Mark looked at Donghyuck with a guilty expression. His eyes were glassy and he took a shaky breath. His best friend was struggling and he hadn't done anything to help him. Mark wondered if he deserved the title of a best friend. 

A sigh escaped his lips before he whispered, "I'm sorry," and also fell asleep 


	12. Chapter 12

The pain in Donghyuck’s back woke him up, his head spinning at the sudden movement and his eyes barely caught sight of Mark running out of the room. For a second, he forgot everything that had happened and nearly called out to the older. But then it all crashed down onto him and his gaze dropped to the ground, his face flushing at the memory of Mark holding him close to his chest. After everything that had happened, Mark had done that to him, and what was the meaning? Donghyuck was honestly tired of the mixed signals the older sent, so instead of dwelling on it for too long, he shrugged his shoulders to get rid of the thought.

He was snapped out of his jumbled up thoughts when Jaehyun spoke to him from his bed. “Donghyuck,” he said, sitting up and leaned over to raise an eyebrow at the younger. “Why was Mark in your bed?”

Well, that was a question Donghyuck also wanted an answer to. He had assumed that Mark had gotten tired from all the travelling and had headed straight for bed, which is what the rest of the members also thought. But in reality, Mark had been bundled up in Donghyuck’s bed with Donghyuck’s sheets and had ended up falling asleep with his arms around Donghyuck.

To give Jaehyun an answer, all Donghyuck did was shrug his shoulders, not in the mood to speak to anyone, especially not in the morning. Kicking the blanket off himself, Donghyuck swung his legs over and rushed to the toilet, glad that it wasn’t occupied by anyone else. He needed that time to think, or well to clear his head. Too much stress caused spots and that was one thing he wasn’t looking forward to dealing with.

Donghyuck sleepily stripped his clothes, throwing them into the basket in the corner, which seemed to be full but- Donghyuck really wasn’t in the mood for anything. With a sigh, he sunk into the bathtub, which he had filled up when he was struggling with his clothes. Donghyuck brought his knees to his chest and took a deep breath, his eyes fluttering close as he did so. It felt calming as if something had been taken off his shoulder. A burden of a sort had been lifted. But as much as Donghyuck wanted to just stop thinking and enjoy the comforting feel of the water brushing against his sides, his mind betrayed him and the image of Mark hugging him tightly appeared. A sudden spike of annoyance hit him when he realised that Mark had caught him crying yet again.

Donghyuck was not a crybaby and that was well known. He hated crying, not because he believed it made him any less of a boy or anything, but because he simply hated feeling sad to the point of crying, to know that it had all gotten that bad that he was forced to vent everything out through tears. It should never be that bad. And the fact that it was Mark’s fourth time catching him cry in private, it annoyed Donghyuck even more.

The first time he had been caught crying was just before debut. The stress was over the roof, the ache in his body only seemed to worsen the more he practised and the dance moves suddenly forced the breath out of him. He was terrified. The only thoughts that flooded his mind every time he looked in the mirror were that- what if he was no longer good enough? What if the evaluators thought that his singing had faltered, or that his ego had grown after the news of debut being close?

It had gotten too much and Donghyuck was left crying in the corner of the resting room, his head tucked between his knees as self-doubt filled him, forcing him to give himself a second look and another glare. But then a hand had come over his, tugging him forward and into a warm embrace, one that somehow managed to fight away all of his thoughts. One that included a Mark Lee who was willing to share a bit of love and concern.

The second time was after the comments under the music video had gotten too much, his heart unable to tolerate another ‘NCT Flop’ comment and his eyes too blurry to read anymore. Sure, they didn’t understand English that well, but he was smart enough to understand something like that. And twitter always had a google translating button. It hurt too much and Donghyuck buried himself under the pile of blankets on his bed. Taeyong had gone out to check on something, so Donghyuck was left alone in the room. Just when Donghyuck was about to sleep with unshed tears held up in his eyes, the door to his room opened. The phone in his clutches was peeled off and the blanket was pulled up for a moment. The bed dipped and another body pressed up against his, the comforting scent spreading around them.

“Ignore them. They’re a waste of time,” Mark had said softly, his hand brushing through Donghyuck’s hair as the younger shook with sobs. “Ignore them.”

The third was something that Donghyuck wished he could forget or could erase from his life. He always teased Mark as a joke, but somewhere around two years ago, Mark had had enough with the constant fooling around. He had snapped at Donghyuck and told him to give him some space and some time to be able to think in peace. Donghyuck, being one to never give up on a fight, spat back some words he didn’t mean and left the room. Everyone fights their best friends at some point in life, everyone does and so did Mark and Donghyuck. But this was too much. Donghyuck had been walking with a 2-meter distance from Mark, avoiding eye contact and whenever anyone had asked him why he did it, he would respond with a, “I’m giving him the space he wanted”. Donghyuck was one for dramatics, but even this was going too far.

The night after they had finished their performance at a music show and rushed home, Mark had barged into Donghyuck’s room and dragged him out to the roof. It was chilly and Donghyuck cursed at the fact that Mark hadn’t even allowed him to wear any extra clothing. They had stood side by side, looking over the crowd of apartment buildings beside theirs. No words were exchanged before the gate of emotions inside Donghyuck broke open, his eyes tearing up when he felt Mark’s hand slip into his, their fingers intertwining in a way that his heart ached. He felt another hand cup his cheek, wiping away the tears that rolled down them. Mark chuckled at him and called him, “a baby, honestly, a baby”.

Everything managed to fit back into place after that.

A knock on the door of the bathroom brought him back into reality and he looked around in surprise. His body felt numb and he hurriedly got out of the tub, shaking his head at the thoughts corrupting his mind and rushed over to the clean laundry near the door. He pulled out a few pieces of clothing, throwing it on before stumbling over to the door, Jaehyun’s voice still ringing in his ears to hurry up. But just as his hand hovered over the handle, he glanced at the mirror and froze. He was wearing Mark’s hoodie. A groan escaped his mouth and he cursed at himself. Why did it have to be Mark of all people?

Rolling his eyes at the sight of the clothes he was wearing, Donghyuck pulled open the door, a disturbed Jaehyun almost falling onto him as he pushed past him.

There was no one else at the dorm and Donghyuck guessed they had all left for the practice room. Donghyuck slowly walked over to the kitchen and poured a bowl of cereal and milk for himself. He sat in silence and ate his food, his mind immediately providing him with the fact that Mark also loved the brand of cereal he was eating. Suddenly, he lost his appetite.

The drive to the building wasn’t long, or maybe that was because Donghyuck hadn’t been paying attention to his surroundings.

Upon arrival, Donghyuck opened the door to the car, his arms coming to embrace himself as the wind hit him. A sigh left him as he strolled through the building, his legs moving on auto-pilot as he turned left and right before entering the practice room. Silence. There was complete silence. For a moment, Donghyuck thought he had entered the wrong room since his eyes had been glued to the ground the whole time.

He looked up to see everyone distributed around the room. A few of them were huddled up by the sofa, scrolling through their phones with a frown etched to their faces whilst a few of them were spread out by the mirror. Mark was sitting by the corner of the mirror, his head tilted back and his eyes screwed shut.

“Donghyuck,” their manager called out to him, causing everyone to look up at him. “Hurry up. Where’s Jaehyun? Did he not come with you?”

“He was still at the dorm when I left,” Donghyuck answered his questions before shuffling over to him so that they weren’t shouting from across the room.

“Okay, then we’ll start to practise once they arrive,” their manager said. “And some other members were going to be joining you all today, you will be sharing the room as the others are occupied.”

They all nodded and fell back into silence. Everyone had returned to their things and Donghyuck felt _awkward_. No one was talking to each other and he couldn’t help but blame himself. Were they not talking to avoid making Donghyuck feel left out? Were they perhaps not in the mood to talk to him in general? Or had he made them upset to the point that they weren’t even able to talk to anyone else?

Donghyuck was quickly shaken out of his thoughts as Jaehyun burst in, muttering an apology that sounded more of an excuse when he said, “Donghyuck took too long in the bathroom that I didn’t get enough time”.

As they all stood up and chose what half of the room they would take, the door opened and a pair of arms found their way around Donghyuck, lifting him and spun him around.

“Haechan!” The voice of the owner of the arms yelled, earning a laugh from Donghyuck. “It’s been so long.”

Hendery placed Donghyuck down and they both immediately broke into a conversation, the other members of WayV entered in the back and circled them. It only took a few minutes of them all talking over each other before their managers to tell them to break apart and start practising.

Despite not meeting quite often, Donghyuck still considered himself close to them all. They had already once spent an hour awkwardly stealing glances at each other (and getting caught nearly every time) before they finally spoke to each other. At first, it was difficult because although they had been learning Korean - and were pretty good at it - they still found themselves tripping a few times and trying to explain what a few words meant. But then they all got used to, laughing at each other when they pronounced something wrong, and their conversations were the best, especially that one time when Donghyuck decided to use google translate.

During their breaks, Donghyuck turned to talk to Sicheng, who was taking turns to practice with each unit, and asked him whether or not he was doing fine, to which he replied with a smile and a nod.

Donghyuck wasn’t sure if what he felt on his back were eyes because whenever he turned around to check, the members all had their faces directed to the ground, their shoulders slumped and their minds definitely not on Donghyuck. He turned back to the mirror and watched from the corner of his eye as everyone raised their heads. _Not everything is about you_, Donghyuck thought and let out a shaky breath. The rest of practice was filled with silence between them, other than the sound of _Superhuman _playing in the background.


	13. Chapter 13

"Alright, explain."

In the rush of practice ending, whilst all the sweaty bodies were running around in the room and searching for their bags, Ten had crept up by Donghyuck and whispered in his ear. It was a little awkward since everyone had their eyes upon them and watched as Donghyuck got dragged out of the room and then pushed into a car, but the second they got in and their staff began to drive away, Ten got straight to the point.

"You looked as if you had been crying for days, probably haven't slept yet either," Ten said and he examined Donghyuck's face, holding his chin between his fingers and twisted him around.

Donghyuck slapped his hand away and rolled his eyes. "Oh great Ten, you have made such an amazing discovery."

Ten, obviously annoyed by the response, pinched Donghyuck's side and then grabbed the younger's wrist, the playful smile went from his face and had been replaced by a frown. "I'm not joking, Haechan. What's wrong? Why do you look so down?"

And of course, it had to be Ten out of all people that asked him this question after the past few days of stress. As much as Ten loved to push the 'I am very frustrated by Haechan and dislike his presence' agenda, he still sent him a second glance with a fond smile upon his lips. There was nothing but a friendly relationship between the two that was usually misinterpreted by others. Out of all the members, Donghyuck guessed he could say he trusted Ten quite a lot — and that has nothing to do with that fact that Ten had told him all of his secrets and so immediately gained a soft spot in Donghyuck's heart because no one  _ ever _ told him  _ anything _ . 

"Nothing happened," Donghyuck attempted to lie through a smile, but the pointed look Ten shot him right after broke right through. "Alright, alright, fine. Something did happen."

"Mind explaining?" Ten pushed, trailing his hand down Donghyuck's wrist and into his palm. Donghyuck looked down and an image flashed through his mind. Mark used to hold Donghyuck's hand a lot when they were younger. Whenever Donghyuck would crack a joke, Mark's instinct was to grab his hand and laugh alongside him. At first, Donghyuck had found it weird and even voiced his thoughts (which ended up causing Mark to slowly stop doing it), but now that he thought back to it, he missed it. He missed feeling the tip of Mark's fingers slip into his hand and press against his skin. The warmth from his hands helped against the cold weather whenever they stood outside their school building, too busy in chatter to realise that they could talk indoors, where there was heating provided. 

Donghyuck let out a sigh and began to explain his problem. Ten's eyes widened at the mention of how Donghyuck had gotten affected by the constant rejection of hugs and he even saw regret flash through them at one point. The staff member sitting at the front of the car even looked through the mirror and shot him a look of sympathy. But that wasn't what he wanted. He just wanted everything to get solved, for all the problems to just disappear and for everyone to no longer avoid each other out of regret. It sounded careless and even childish because he  _ knows _ everything can't be solved overnight and that a conversation with them all sat down is the only thing that can fix this. But he's too afraid to try. What if it ends up getting worse?

"Wait, Mark yelled at you?" Ten interrupted him at one point, holding a hand up to stop him from speaking. "Mark Lee, the boy who finds it hard to raise his voice at people, yelled at you?"

"Yes, now let me continue," Donghyuck rolled his eyes and quickly started up from where he stopped. "I told him why I was upset and he called me childish, which I completely understand! I made a mistake, I know, I know I did. I shouldn't have—I... anyways, so then last night Mark hyung was in my bed—"

"Donghyuck!" Ten gasped dramatically, his lips tugged up slightly and he leaned back in his seat. His sudden outburst scared the staff driver and the car swerved for a second, causing Donghyuck to slap his arm. "You're too young and innocent for that, baby boy. Please, no details! No details!"

"Shut up!" Donghyuck hissed as his cheeks flared up when the realisation finally sank through. "That's not what happened. I had just come back home and was tired and just...just— I cried, okay! And like Mark hyung was in my bed and he hugged me. We just— we hugged? And I fell asleep? When I woke up, he had run out of the room and I'm just so confused. Was he waiting for me to come back? So that we could talk?"

"He probably was," Ten answered softly, reaching out to run his hand through Donghyuck's hair. "I don't think you spoke to them after the incident at breakfast, right?"

"Yeah, I didn't." Donghyuck lowered his gaze and internally groaned. Why did everything have to be so difficult? 

"Listen," Ten started, shifting on his seat and pulled his leg up to lean closer to Donghyuck. "Mark cares about you a lot. You know this, he knows this, we all know this. Even fans know this. It may seem as if the members don't like your affection because they reject it, but do you think they don't enjoy your hugs or your kisses? Perhaps the time you ask for hugs is not right? Or maybe it's because they don't know your true intention? They probably just assume that you were trying to hug them as a joke? To tease them?

"You told me you like to give Renjun kisses on the neck because he hates them, right?" Ten raised his eyebrow and Donghyuck nodded. "Renjun knows that it's a joke. But whenever you give him a hug when you're feeling a little affection-starved, or just simply need a hug, he gives it to you immediately, right?" Donghyuck nodded again and Ten sighed to himself. "All of this is a simple case of miscommunication. They don't know what to think about your hugs causing them to push you away, and you think that they don't like your hugs. What you have to do here, Donghyuck is to talk to them. One by one. Talk to every one of them."

The car came to a stop as Ten completed his sentence. The atmosphere in it was tense as Ten followed Donghyuck's every move. The younger glanced up before stretching over and hugged Ten. "Thank you, I'll try," he said and then drew away, giving Ten a small smile.

Donghyuck climbed out of the car and shot Ten a wave. As the car turned around the corner and out of his sights, Donghyuck's shoulders slumped down. He had to speak to the members again? But what if they still don't understand what he meant when he said he doesn't like the way he greats treated?, Or what if they don't want to bother fixing their relationship?  _ They're better off without Donghyuck's childish antics anyways _ —

Donghyuck shook his head and spun on his heels, marching into the dorm building and headed straight for the kitchen. The lady who cooked food for them wasn't there (probably not knowing that Donghyuck would home come so early) so he searched the cabinets for some junk food. He piled up a bit of food on the counter, casually humming as he tried to put his mind off things. First, he would eat, then he would try to talk to the members,  _ one by one _ . 

Yet, of course. Nothing ever seemed to be going the way Donghyuck wanted it to recently. 

"Hey, Hyuck," Mark said weakly by the door of the kitchen, his body crushed against the frame and he looked a little worn down. His eye bags were dull and his skin paler than usual — was he sick? Donghyuck felt a pang in his heart at the thought. Mark was probably sick and Donghyuck was too into his thoughts and worries that he hadn't even come to help his best friend. "Can we please talk?"

Donghyuck's eyes widened at the question and his grip on his food loosened, almost causing it to fall, but he was quick to tighten it again. He studied the ground, contemplating whether he should say yes. But then Ten's words repeated in his head and he has never once hated them as greatly as he did right there. He had to speak to them one by one, right? Maybe Mark was the best person to start with, the one person who he didn't want to break his friendship off with the most.

Donghyuck curled his toes and took a deep breath, licking his lips nervously before raising his head to look at Mark. He opened his mouth to speak and Mark saw hesitation run through his face.

"Please," Mark practically begged. "I just want to talk to you, Donghyuck."

Said boy gulped and then nodded slowly. 

"Okay, hyung," he answered softly, his voice wavering with fear and underlying panic. "Let's talk."


	14. Chapter 14

Donghyuck didn’t like this. He didn’t like the large distance between Mark and himself. The older of the two was on the edge of the bed, his legs dangling off the side and his body turned completely away from Donghyuck. He really didn’t like this. It felt as though Mark was trying his best to not make Donghyuck uncomfortable, by putting this space between them, but all it did was remind Donghyuck about the distance in their relationship. Could they even be called best friends if they were sitting this far away, acting uneasy?

It was strange, Donghyuck thought. Mark had sat so far away, but just last night he was pressed against him, despite the weather being warm as hell. Now that it was a little chilly and all the hairs on Donghyuck’s arm had stood up, they were far from each other.

“First of all,” Mark started speaking once a few minutes of awkward silence passed. He looked scared and Donghyuck felt dread flood him. Mark was scared of his own best friend. “I’m sorry. I know that’s probably not what you want to hear the most out of me, but I want you to know that I’m sorry. And I’m not just sorry about shouting at you, but because of everything I’ve done.”

Donghyuck stole a glance at Mark before dropping his eyes back to his lap. They were both supposed to speak it out, right? He guessed he could wait till the older was done before speaking.

“When I shouted at you I promise I didn’t mean any of it. I just said a bunch of stupid things and I’m really sorry for that.” Mark ran a hand through his hair and cleared his throat, his cheeks warming up and Donghyuck caught the rosy colour even though the lights were switched off. “I came to a realisation, you know,” Mark said as he reached over to grab Donghyuck’s hand, but then retracted it. (Donghyuck ended up slipping his hand in Mark’s whilst the older kept talking). “I was so annoyed that you had been ignoring me for 3 months, I was so, so, so annoyed. I would sit with some members and make jokes that they wouldn’t understand because it was something between  _ us _ . They didn’t get it.”

Donghyuck played with the hem of his shirt, hoping that the regret of ignoring Mark wouldn’t show on his face.

“I sat next to you in the van a few weeks back in hopes to talk to you.” Mark chewed on his lip and tightened his grip on Donghyuck’s hand. “But you didn’t even spare me a glance, you didn’t even look at me. I tried talking to you again and again, but you had your head turned away from me. It felt weird, weird that you weren’t talking to me. I thought that maybe I had done something wrong, but you weren’t even telling me what it was.”

Communication, Ten had said. They had to communicate and tell each other what was wrong. But would anyone have taken him seriously if he told them that he was upset because of their rejection? If anything, they would’ve assumed it was a joke since all Donghyuck did in their eyes was just for a tease. The only member who didn’t reject his affection was Jungwoo.

“Even before you started avoiding me,” Mark snapped Donghyuck out of his thoughts. “When you were injured and at your parents’ house, it felt so weird without you. Sure, there was Jungwoo hyung, who was always ready to make everyone laugh, but it was more about your absence.” Mark ran his thumb over Donghyuck’s hand and sighed. “I missed you.”

That was something Donghyuck was not expecting. 

“I missed talking to you, hearing you speak and even though sometimes your jokes got a little out of hand, I missed them.

“And then after you ignored us and we had that...that argument, I realised something.” Mark shut his eyes tightly and lowered his head. “I had been doing the same thing to you for the past 3 years. When we were trainees, it was so much easier. We were so casual with each other and there were no cameras around us. It didn’t feel weird to give you hugs, because there was no one watching us. But then suddenly, we debuted and everywhere we went, there was a camera. We were always in front of people and the eyes on us never disappeared. 

“I used to push you away on camera and we even spoke about it once, remember?” And of course, Donghyuck remembers that day. They had just come back from shooting something and Mark had climbed into bed with him, apologising for acting so awkward about hugs. Mark had told him that it was just because he couldn’t handle skinship with eyes upon him and Donghyuck had laughed at him, punching his arm playfully and then told Mark that he would still continue teasing him about that.

“I guess it became a habit after that,” Mark continued, shaking his head to shift his hair away from his face and brought a hand up to his eyes - only then did Donghyuck see the tears. “It became a habit and I started doing the same off-camera, it was a sort of joke between us? Or from my side at least. Since you told me you only hug me as a tease, I assumed that when I push you away it doesn’t matter...but it clearly did.”

“Mark hyung I-” Donghyuck leaned close and wiped the tears gathered at the corner of his eyes, but when he spoke Mark interrupted him.

“No, wait.” Mark pulled back and sniffled, wiping roughly at his cheeks and held a hand out to stop Donghyuck. "Let me finish," he said, causing Donghyuck to freeze and lean back. "I know there's no excuse for the stuff I did, but you could've told me about it? I wouldn't have judged you, I never have. I used to look at the things fans made for us, or wrote for us and— sometimes it was really weird, you know?

"Fans called out friendship something more than that," Mark continued, looking more red than before. "They read in between the lines, analysed our actions. I just got scared? I got worried that maybe you'd read the stuff and things would get awkward between us. I didn't want that to happen, I didn't want our friendship to go in the drain. But look where that got us."

Donghyuck lowered his gaze to his lap as Mark began to sniffle more loudly. Of course, he had seen the stuff fans posted about them, but he never found it weird. He thought it was cute. He liked the way fans interpreted their actions in so many different ways.

"You know I didn't mind that stuff, right?" Donghyuck whispered and guilt flashed onto Mark's face immediately. "I would never change the way I treat you just because of some posts fans make."

"Hyuck, I'm so sorry," Mark said, shuffling forward and looking at Donghyuck with expectant eyes. "I know you won't believe me if I just say it, so please just give me another chance to show you?"

In all honesty, Donghyuck felt a bit awkward. Mark wasn't one to cry, not that he wasn't emotional he just didn't cry. So seeing him here in tears, looking like a mess, Donghyuck felt awkward. 

"I'll be a better friend, I promise," Mark added when Donghyuck didn't give any response. 

But Mark was already a great friend. He would comfort Donghyuck whenever he needed it. He would slip into his bed before debut and hold Donghyuck to his chest, brush his hands through his hair and whisper praises into his ear whenever he could. Mark was always there with this energy and smile that would take away all of his worries in a second. Mark was always there for him. Their friendship just got a little messy after they stopped talking about their issues or concerns with each other.

"I," Donghyuck took a deep breath and wiped his face with his hand, tired. "I can't just immediately say yes, I have some pride, you know," Donghyuck joked and smiled when Mark giggled with him. "But I just want you to know that you're a great friend, it's not entirely your fault. I should've spoken to you; we should've talked this out. After we do that, after we talk everything out and clear any misunderstandings and problems between us, only then, I think, can we return to normal. And I still need to talk to the others, their apologies kind of went into the drain after..."

Mark stared at Donghyuck before pulling him into a hug, snuggling into the younger's chest and let out a sigh. "I can't apologise for the others, but I'm telling you that I'll try my best to change. However, you have to tell me what's wrong and what's not. And please, talk to me again, because you  _ know _ how boring Doyoung hyung can be."

The laugh that escaped Donghyuck's mouth allowed the two to relax in each others' arms. The main door to the dorm opened and the sound of the members trailed in. Donghyuck breathed out slowly and wrapped his arms around Mark, leaning back until they were lying down. 

"Mark hyung," he said, tugging the blanket over them. "Let's talk, then."

Mark pulled his head back a little and smiled softly. 

"Let's talk."


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like the chapters really short, but here it is :]

It's six in the morning when Mark woke up. He cracked open his eyes and blinked up at the ceiling in confusion. His chest felt heavy and his right arm ached. Raising his left arm, Mark placed it over his chest, coming in contact with a jungle of hair. A chuckle left his mouth as he remembered who it could've been and dug his fingers into the hair, softly brushing it out. 

Mark shifted a little, managing to take Donghyuck's weight off of himself and replaced it with a pillow. As he peeled the blanket off himself, the cold air hit him and he hissed, slowly retreating back towards Donghyuck.

"Ah...I need water," Mark groaned quietly, scrunching his eyes at the feeling of his throat running dry. He held a hand to his neck before pushing himself up once again, scrunching his nose at the cold, but fought against it. 

Mark's eyes wandered to Donghyuck as he got up from the bed. Last night, Donghyuck had fallen asleep the second his head hit the pillow, his exhaustion leaving no space for bonding time and Mark was left to stare at his sleeping face (not in a creepy way). Mark had slept a few hours after Donghyuck, his mind going off on tangents just before he fell asleep ("what if Donghyuck wakes up to find us in bed like this, what would he think?"). 

His heart swelled at the sight of Donghyuck, looking comfortable with his face tucked into Mark's hand and his arms spread over the bed. He looked cute. Mark smiled at him. 

The feeling he experienced when he looked at Donghyuck was strange, but he didn't want to think about it too much. Yesterday had been enough thinking and emotion revealing that Mark was tired by speaking his feelings out. It felt good, of course, it did, but he was tired and thirsty and in need of water. 

( _ Maybe I'm allergic to Donghyuck _ , Mark thought as he poked the blanket under Donghyuck's arms. His face reddened as he slipped and barely managed to balance himself over the younger.  _ Maybe I am _ .)

The door to the room opened and Jaehyun poked his head through, his eyes widening comically as he caught Mark brushing Donghyuck's hair out of his face. He didn't expect Mark to be the first to mend things with Donghyuck. Everyone always jokes around about Mark being unable to express emotions well, but he proved them wrong. 

Just as Jaehyun was about to ask Mark about Donghyuck, the younger held a finger to his lips, telling him to be quiet.

"Is he asleep?" Jaehyun whispered, taking small steps towards the two. He kneeled down and brought a hand to Donghyuck's cheek, caressing it softly.

"When are you going to apologise properly?" Mark asked, sitting up on the bed, causing Donghyuck's face to slip from his hand. 

"What do you mean apologise properly?" Jaehyun questioned as Mark got up from the bed. They trailed out of the room, Mark leading the way to the rest of the members. "We already said sorry and asked him what was wrong, but he still didn't believe us. We don't know what else we have to do to get him to forgive us."

Mark groaned quietly when he saw that everyone had gathered up in the living room. Ignoring the looks they all gave him, Mark hurried over to the kitchen, pouring a glass of water for himself and chugged it down. His initial plan was to get water and rush back into Donghyuck's room, because it was 4am and Mark was  _ tired _ . But then the pleading looks of Taeyong and the others forced Mark to take a seat by the door.

"I know you guys have said sorry and tried your best, but it's like—" Mark moved his hands around, making weird expressions and hoped they would understand. The problem that he had with Donghyuck was one that only he could understand well, and only they would get it. But the other members, they would have no idea what was going on. And the same went for Mark, he wouldn't understand the issue between the members and Donghyuck.

"What do we do?" Johnny followed up with a question, still not getting what Mark was trying to suggest. The others nodded in agreement and Mark was left to sighing out of disbelief. He couldn't believe that he was at the same point as they were just a few hours ago. 

"How can you be so clueless?" Mark held his head in his hands and took a deep breath. 

When Mark spoke to Donghyuck, his intention was clear. He was willing to talk about everything that had happened. And as he should've, Mark reminded Donghyuck that he had to  _ tell _ them what was wrong. They weren't mind readers. He told Donghyuck to communicate his feelings more clearly, not hide them away in his pocket and use a difficult and more confusing method in an attempt to get them across. Donghyuck looked hesitant at first, but Mark saw the acceptance appear on his face. He knew he wasn't right to have ignored them all and Mark made sure to reassure him that he wasn't the only one at fault either. 

"You need to talk to him," Mark said after a few minutes of silence. They all exchanged looks of confusion and worry as Mark continued. "You need to speak to him, talk to him and let him tell you about all the things he's upset about and what he wants to change."

"But we already did that," Doyoung said, leaning on the armrest of the sofa. He looked up at Mark and frowned. "We spoke to him, let him speak about his feelings, but we still ended up falling back to square one 

"Exactly," Mark nodded and then glanced around the room. "You all spoke to him about it and as soon as he started returning to his old self around you, everyone took it for granted a second time. And imagine the guilt he must've felt when he realised some of you were just forcing yourself to hug him or accept his affection."

The groups all fell into silence again. It stretched over the course of a few moments before Mark continued. 

"Were you not listening when Donghyuck mentioned the dream members?" Mark grimaced at the memory of Donghyuck yelling at him. He wanted to forget it happened, then again it did help Mark's situation with Donghyuck. "Just because he debuted with us and has a lot of responsibility, it doesn't mean he isn't the same as the others. We all know that you guys give more hugs to the kids than Hyuck."

"But that's because they don't do it all the time," Yuta said, scratching his neck awkwardly. "Sure, I love Donghyuck, but sometimes his hugs can get annoying. That's why I push him away."

"He only does it because you push him away." Mark leaned back on the sofa and crossed his leg. "If you accept it, then he wouldn't be so forceful.

"If we accept it," Taeil interfered, sitting up in his seat and turned to Mark. "Then he would think it's alright to hug us all the time. We wouldn't be able to get him off us— it's just. Sometimes it's too much."

"Listen," Mark sighed, standing up from the sofa and walked over to the door. "You need to speak to Donghyuck about this. Telling me that you don't like his hugs, or that you do like him the same way as the other dreamies won't change his mind.  _ You _ need to speak to him."

Mark turned around, feeling his shoulder slump as he quietly hurried back to Donghyuck's room. Without wasting any time as he stepped into the room, Mark climbed over Donghyuck and slipped into the blankets. Donghyuck's hand somehow ended up thrown over him and Mark couldn't help but smile. He still found it a little weird, how comfortable Donghyuck was with skinship, but he was willing to get used to it. As long as Donghyuck was happy, Mark was happy. 

Donghyuck smiled in his sleep and Mark chuckled at his face, crushed against the pillow and his own hand. Mark raised his hand and pat Donghyuck's cheek lightly before snuggling into his side and closed his eyes. 

Mark really needed his sleep. 


	16. Chapter 16

Donghyuck pulled the blanket close to his chest, the light of the TV reflected off Mark's glasses and burned into his eyes as they stared at each other. The noise of the members discussing what they were going to have for dinner in the back went ignored as Donghyuck frowned. 

"Just give up," Mark chuckled, his eyes widening as he smiled at Donghyuck.

"Never," the younger replied. 

Mark brought a hand up to Donghyuck's cheek, pinching it as he leaned close, his breath fanning against the younger's face. "It's been 30 seconds and you're already ready to break?"

"Shut up," Donghyuck finally let out a groan, slapping Mark's hand away from his face and he blinked painfully, the sting from keeping them open for a while was present. "I'm normally better at staring contests."

"Sure," Mark rolled his eyes, throwing the blanket off himself as he got up from the sofa. Donghyuck's hand shot out to grab onto his wrist as a confused expression masked his face. 

"Where are you going?" He asked, feeling nervous at the thought of being left alone in a room with the other members. It was strange since Donghyuck trusted the older members and loved them with all his heart, but at that moment he wasn't prepared to meet any of them. "Are you going to sleep?"

"No, just gonna get some water," Mark said as he ruffled Donghyuck's hair, a fond smile on his face. "I'll be right back."

Donghyuck watched as Mark walked over to the kitchen, casually engaging in the conversation they were having. They were all smiling. Donghyuck felt sick. Had they already moved on from his situation? Then again, did they even care about it in the first place? At the start, they had all been persistent to try and amend their issues, but Donghyuck had been reluctant. And now that he was ready, it seemed as if they had given up. 

They couldn't have, could they?

"Donghyuck," he heard his voice from behind him and he slowly turned to face Johnny. "Can we talk?"

The older placed a hand on his shoulder, the touch so gentle and so not like Johnny it felt weird. He pulled him towards himself and Donghyuck caught sight of Mark from his peripheral vision. Donghyuck was sure Mark could practically feel the nervousness radiating from him, and he sort of hoped the latter would come and save him. But this is what he wanted, right? He wanted to talk to the members and now was the time. 

Ten's voice echoed in his mind.  _ Communication _ .

"Yeah," Donghyuck smiled, a little uneasy and Johnny noticed it but returned the smile. "Let's talk."

Donghyuck heard the door to the room close and realised that the others had left to give them some privacy. Even Mark had gone, and Donghyuck didn't know why his heartbeat rose knowing that the older wasn't present. 

"Mark gave us an idea why you were so upset," Johnny started, taking a seat beside Donghyuck. He shrunk into the corner of the sofa and that action had guilt seep into Donghyuck's heart. "He told us about how we messed up." Seeing Johnny look scared, or worried — Donghyuck couldn't tell what emotions he felt, Johnny was too hard to read — made Donghyuck feel the same. Ever since Donghyuck was a trainee, Johnny had been there for him, as an older brother that he could always trust. 

Being the oldest in the family meant that Donghyuck never got babied much by his parents, and he never took mind of that. If anything, Donghyuck enjoyed being the oldest, having the most authority and being allowed to tell his younger siblings off whenever he wanted to. However, when he got set as the maknae of 127, he had never felt more like a child before then. 

Johnny was always dotting on him and choosing Donghyuck for every little thing. Sometimes, he would show his love for Donghyuck through playing games with him at odd hours in the night. Other times, he would take the younger out and buy clothes for him. Donghyuck only realised that everyone had different ways of showing affection after they had a falling out. Not everyone likes hugs and kisses. 

"He did?" Donghyuck nodded and then glanced over to the door through which Mark passed through. He appreciated the fact that Mark had already given them a fair idea of why he had been upset. But he had to tell them about how it wasn't only their fault. He was equally to blame for what happened. 

"Yeah," Johnny sighed and reached over to grab Donghyuck's hands. “And I know saying sorry won’t solve anything if I don’t even know the full reason for why you’re upset. I’m sure the reason you’re upset with Mark is different from why you’re upset with me and the others, right?”

“Sort of,” Donghyuck answered, eyeing the way Johnny caressed his fingers. “You know you don’t have to hold my hand if you don’t want to.”

“I want to,” Johnny smiled and tightened his grip on his hand. “Donghyuck, I’m not sure what I did wrong, but for me to fix it I really need you to tell me. I need you to tell me what’s on your mind.”

“I know, I know,” Donghyuck sighed. Mark had already beaten his head about needing to talk about his feelings rather than playing a game of charades with them. “When I told you I wanted you guys to be more open when I showed affection to you, I didn’t mean to force yourself to do that. Ever since we had that talk, you would hug me back, but there would be this slight bit of awkwardness between us. It was as if you felt uncomfortable.”

“It wasn’t that I felt uncomfortable,” Johnny hurriedly cleared, his face filled with worry. “It’s just I don’t express my adoration for someone through hugs, or at least that’s not the case when it’s with you.” When Johnny saw the confusion on Donghyuck’s face, he continued. “For example, when I’m with Taeil hyung, I give him hugs and stay close to him, right?” Donghyuck knew that was true because it happened all the time. Taeil would leave his room to get food from the kitchen and Johnny would give him a large hug and snuggle into his side once they sat down. "But do you see me doing the same with Mark?" Donghyuck paused and blinked at him.

"I don't," Johnny said. "And that's because my relationship with Mark is different than what it is with Taeil hyung. We love each other the same way but we're more playful. He hits me on my arm and I do the same to him. I hug him from time to time, but it's different, isn't it?"

That was true, Donghyuck had seen Johnny trap Mark in his arms once because he was in his loving Mark phase. But then there were days when the two would be having a playful fight. 

"It's the same for us," Johnny leaned down and brushed Donghyuck's hair back. "We joke around nearly all the time, but there are times when it's different."

"Yeah," Donghyuck finally breathed out. 

"I know it doesn't excuse the way I didn't take care of your feelings, but I hope you understand how different our dynamics are. I'll try my best to not reject your affection, but you should remember that it's not the only way we show our love for each other."

Johnny reached for his shoulder and pulled him into a hug. Donghyuck pressed his head against Johnny's chest and sighed. He hadn't thought about that. He hadn't thought about how the members could be showing their love for him in a different way, his mind was too focused on his own method. Donghyuck felt even more guilt wash over him at the realisation that this problem could’ve gotten solved if he just spoke to them in the first place.

“Donghyuck,” Johnny said into his hair. The younger hummed and Johnny continued. “Don’t feel guilty.”

Donghyuck’s eyes welled up but before the tears could fall, Johnny pulled away and cupped his cheeks, a smile on his face as he rubbed the tears away.

“It’s over now, right?”

“Mhm, it’s over.” 

Donghyuck watched as Johnny began to make his way towards the door. He let out a sigh and leaned back in his seat. He managed to fix things with Mark and Johnny, he just hoped it was going to be easier to mend ways with the others. Donghyuck didn’t get much time to dwell on that thought for long, as the door to the room opened once again and Doyoung entered, a determined look on his face. Donghyuck almost wanted to laugh at how serious Doyoung looked.

"We need to talk as well."

It was going to be a long night.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


-

  
  
  


After the few hours that Donghyuck spent with the older members, he came to the conclusion that they had all practised some sort of speech before talking to him because there was no way in hell that they knew some of the words they said. It was hilarious watching them all stutter a couple of times, then pause and continue speaking. It was a little heartwarming to know that they had put a lot of effort into talking to him. 

“Finally,” Mark scoffed when he saw Donghyuck enter his room at around 3 am. “They should’ve let you sleep and then finish in the morning.”

Donghyuck rolled his eyes at the comment but didn’t try fighting the urge to smile. He stared at Mark, who was sat up on his bed with his notebook in his hand. The lights were dimmed out and Donghyuck could barely see where he was going. The bed opposite Donghyuck’s was empty, which meant Jaehyun had still not come to bed, and Donghyuck gave a wary look as he climbed his bed. 

“You know,” he started as he poked Mark’s arm. The older boy stopped doodling into his notebook and glanced down at him. “Your eyesight gets worse if you read stuff in the dark.”

“Too late for that,” Mark smiled, showing off his bright teeth before taking his glasses off. He reached over Donghyuck and placed his stuff on the dressing table. “I already have bad eyesight.”

“Why are you in my bed, by the way?” Donghyuck asked when Mark shuffled around with the sheets, trying to get comfortable. Mark ignored the question for the moment and turned to face Donghyuck. Their knees brushed past each other and their noses were only a few inches apart. This was a lot closer to what Donghyuck was used to. Mark never faced him whenever he slept in his bed. “Hey, I asked you a question.”

“If you don’t want me to be here so badly, I’ll leave,” Mark huffed and made a move to get up, but then Donghyuck threw his arm over him and pushed him back onto the bed. 

“Stop being dramatic,” Donghyuck mumbled, getting comfortable with the way Mark gently caressed his back. It was strange, their level of proximity. It made Donghyuck feel the strange twist in his stomach again, but this time a smile came to his face. “You think everything’s going to go back to normal.”

Mark stayed silent for a while, quietly observing the way Donghyuck looked at him. The lack of response scared Donghyuck, but then Mark placed his hand on his cheek and chuckled lightly. 

“Hyuck, it won’t go back to normal,” Donghyuck opened his mouth to tell Mark to get out because what kind of comforting answer was that? However, Mark was quick to beat him. “It won’t go back to normal because it’ll be better than before. The problems you had when things were considered normal wouldn’t be there anymore. Okay?”

Donghyuck felt his cheeks heat up and he nodded slowly. A long silence stretched between them and Donghyuck felt more aware of the hand on face and the fond look Mark was giving him. The only sound they could hear was of each other’s breathing and the quiet chatter of the members in the living room. Donghyuck averted his eyes to his hands and cursed internally. Why was he so affected by the way Mark was staring at him? He had given Donghyuck the same look in the past and it never caused him to feel this way before. 

“Hey,” Mark said softly, and Donghyuck tilted his head up to look at him.  _ There it was again _ , Donghyuck thought,  _ the warm smile on Mark’s face.  _ “Are you okay?”

The question was so simple, but Donghyuck couldn’t find himself to answer it. Instead, his eyes travelled down and onto Mark’s lips. They weren’t as smooth as Donghyuck had thought they were, and from this distance, Donghyuck could see all the places Mark had chewed off. He really needed to tell Mark to start taking care of his lips. 

“You’re distracted,” Mark said, causing Donghyuck to snap his head up to look at him. He thought the older might’ve been a little annoyed, but instead he had the same grin on his face from earlier. He was looking at Donghyuck as if he was special. “What’s got you so distracted?”

“You?” Donghyuck suggested, his eyes dropping to Mark’s lips once again before meeting his eyes. 

“Me?” Mark sounded smug, and Donghyuck could see the glint in his eyes. “How so?”

Mark definitely knew what he was doing when he leaned closer to Donghyuck, the tip of their noses were touching and Donghyuck was having a hard time keeping his eyes open. 

“You know exactly why,” Donghyuck answered, feeling embarrassed, but he wasn’t going to let Mark know. 

“I do?” Mark’s breath fanned Donghyuck’s cheeks and his eyes were still wide open. The temperature had suddenly gone higher and Donghyuck could hear his heartbeat in his ears. “Wh-”

Before Mark could finish his sentence, and perhaps finish whatever he was suggesting, the door to Donghyuck’s room opened and Jaehyun burst in. Mark jerked himself back and hit his head on the dressing table as the other two in the room watched him with concern. 

“Are you okay?” Donghyuck asked, hoping the disappointment wasn’t heard in his voice. Mark looked up at him and nodded enthusiastically before nodding at Jaehyun and rushed out of the room. Jaehyun stood by the door for a moment before turning to Donghyuck, who opened his mouth to explain.

Jaehyun put his hand up with a knowing look. “No need.”

Donghyuck hid his red face under his blanket.


	17. Chapter 17

Mark Lee was not gay.

Mark wasn’t against the idea of liking boys either. Ever since he was a kid, Mark never really looked at someone with the intention of liking them or dating them. Whilst he was in Canada, everyone was friends with everyone and as a kid, he never thought about liking another person. Then when he came to Korea, the restrictions upon him caused him to keep a fair distance from girls, just so that he wouldn’t end up getting caged into a fake scandal in the future. In the time that Mark spent with his friends, he only ever thought of them as his brothers, and that was the same with the other members. He didn’t view them any differently as his older brother. 

That was until the incident that took place last night. To say that Mark wasn’t freaking out would be a lie; he was terrified. He wasn’t sure what was going through his head when he initiated something he hadn’t done before, but now it was messing with his head. Was he attracted to his best friend, the person he had considered a brother for so long? Just thinking about it like that made Mark shudder. He didn’t support incest, just to be clear.

“Mark,” Doyoung’s voice pulled him out of his thoughts. “Wake up, we’re having breakfast.”

_ Wake up?  _ Mark hadn’t even slept the entire night. He had tried his best, but with the constant possibilities filling his head, he found it difficult to get some shut-eye.

“I’m up,” Mark muttered as he sat upon his bed. He rubbed his tired eyes and tried to get rid of the sleep that had finally come to him when he realised he had stayed awake the whole night. Mark got up with a grunt and ignored Doyoung’s worried look before making his way to the bathroom. Staring at his reflection, Mark groaned because everyone would know something was up with his red eyes and flushed cheeks. 

Mark slowly made his way through the hallway, leaning against the wall to make sure he didn’t fall. He poked his head through the kitchen door to find Donghyuck hugging Taeyong from behind. He caught the way Taeyong was laughing to himself as Donghyuck said some things with a pout on his face. They looked cute. Mark blushed at the sight.

“Morning,” Mark said as he entered the kitchen. Donghyuck and Taeyong returned his greeting, and he could feel their lingering eyes, but continued his journey to the fridge.

“But Hyung,” Donghyuck whined, his voice becoming squeaky and Taeyong sighed with fake annoyance. “Tropical juice is superior.”

Mark raised his eyebrow at the topic of the conversation but rushed out of the room when he locked eyes with Donghyuck. He wasn’t avoiding the younger, he was just delaying confrontation. He was sure that Donghyuck would come to him at any moment of the day to talk about last night - Mark cursed to himself for being so supportive of communication - so he knew they were going to solve the issue soon, 

Shaking his head, Mark pushed the door of the living room open and stumbled in. He saw Jungwoo sitting on the sofa and slumped down beside him, the older turned to him with a confused look.

“Jungwoo hyung,” Mark said, leaning against Jungwoo as he pinched his cheek. “I need help with something.”

Jungwoo eyed him for a moment before letting out a chuckle. “Is this something Donghyuck?”

Mark looked down at his lap in embarrassment for being so easy to read, but then the hand on his shoulder calmed him down. He sighed slowly and then cleared his throat. “I nearly kissed him last night,” Mark said and immediately covered his face and he remembered how awkward it had been when he pulled away. Jungwoo’s eyes widened and he froze for a moment before bursting into laughter, clutching his stomach as he imagined the scenario. “It’s not funny!”

“Okay, okay,” Jungwoo took a deep breath and then continued. “You almost kissed him?” Mark nodded, trying his best to ignore the smug look on Jungwoo’s face. “But he pushed you away?” Mark shook his head. “Then what happened.”

“We almost kissed until,” Mark covered his face once again, eliciting a giggle from Jungwoo. “Jaehyun hyung walked in on us.”

“Oh God, Jaehyun hyung was in the way of your first kiss,” Jungwoo let out another laugh. “But I have to say, don’t you think it’s a bit too fast?”

“What is?” Mark blinked in confusion. 

“I mean, I understand that you like Donghyuck, and you might’ve for a long time, but isn’t it a bit quick? You guys just got onto speaking terms once again.” Jungwoo finished and waited for a response, but Mark continued staring at him. “What’s wrong?”

“I don’t,” Mark paused and frowned. “I don’t like Donghyuck in that way. All I did was try to kiss him, that doesn’t necessarily mean I like him in that way.” 

Jungwoo exhaled noisily and then placed a hand on Mark’s shoulder, a tight smile on his face. “Good luck,” was all he said before standing up and rushed out of the door. Mark stared at the closed door with his jaw dropped. He whined childishly and sunk further into the sofa, grabbing the TV remote with annoyance and skipped through the channels. The sound of the door opening echoed but Mark paid no attention, too busy sulking on his own.

“Hyung,” Mark snapped his head up to look at Donghyuck, who only smiled at him. “Taeyong hyung’s nearly done with breakfast,” Donghyuck said, walking over to the side of the sofa to lean against it. “You look sick, did you not sleep well?”

Donghyuck leaned even closer as he spoke and Mark was forced to tear his eyes away. Mark brought a cautious hand to his face, awkwardly chuckling to himself. “Yeah, I couldn’t get much sleep,” Mark glanced over at Donghyuck's face, and regretted it the second he saw the look of concern on the younger's face. "I look terrible, isn't it?"

Donghyuck examined Mark's face for a while before his face shifted to a small smile, more like a smirk. He scoffed and then said, "I don't know, Hyung. You still look cute to me."

Mark's ears burst into a shade of red and his eyes widened comically, causing Donghyuck to stifle a laugh and send a wink his way. Before Mark could say anything, Donghyuck pushed himself away from Mark and made his way to the door.

"I should go help Taeyong hyung out," Donghyuck said as he opened the shoulder, looking over his shoulder to smile at Mark. "To help make the food."

As soon as the door closed Mark jumped back by the sofa, and let out a groan. He placed a hand on his chest and frowned. "He says I'm cute all the time," Mark shook his head at his unstable heartbeat. "Calm down."

Mark collapsed against the sofa and let out a lot whine into the cushion beside his head. When he shut his eyes, a picture of Donghyuck appeared in his head and he snapped his eyes open. "Oh my god," Mark sighed to himself, hugging the cushion to his chest. "Donghyuck doesn't even seem bothered by it all!"

  
  


-

  
  


Donghyuck was freaking out when he woke up in the morning, his mind thinking back to his close Mark was with him last night. It wasn't anything new, them laying in bed together, but their proximity was something that hadn't happened before. 

Mark had never tried kissing him before.

When the older had left his room, Donghyuck had been unable to keep his cool. Whenever he closed his eyes to get some sleep, the image of Mark laying beside him, his eyes darting down to Donghyuck's lips and the flush of his cheeks. It was safe to say that Donghyuck had only gotten about 2 hours worth of sleep that night. 

"Jaehyun hyung just had to enter," Donghyuck rolled his eyes, sitting up in his bed and glared at the boy standing by the mirror casually applying lotion on his face. "Wait," Donghyuck muttered, shaking his head. "What're you saying?"

"Indeed," Jaehyun said, his voice loud and a little too much for an exhausting morning. "What are you saying?"

Donghyuck opened his mouth to speak, but then shut it a while after. He did this a few times before Jaehyun began to feel concerned, inching towards the bed in a way that it seemed as though he was nearing a distraught animal. 

"What's up, Hyuck?" He asked, taking a cautious seat beside Donghyuck, who had buried his head in his hands. "Why do you look so worried?"

Donghyuck took a deep breath and grabbed Jaehyun's hand, gently squeezing it. He glanced up before sighing loudly. "Mark hyung," Donghyuck said, slowly taking a moment to process his thoughts. "Last night, he did something."

"By something, do you mean he stayed up waiting for you?" Jaehyun asked and Donghyuck was quick to deny it. "Then what did he do?"

"Last night," Donghyuck realised that he was dragging the situation out when he saw Jaehyun impatiently tap his foot against the floor. "Mark hyung tried to kiss me."

Jaehyun seemed calm for a moment, until his eyes widened and he slipped off the bed when he jumped up. "Huh?" He climbed back up and Donghyuck watched as his face lightened up. "What? Why?"

"I'm not sure," Donghyuck answered, because he truly wasn't. Then again, it wasn't as if Mark was the only one going for the kiss. Donghyuck was about to continue and narrate the entire scenario, but then the door burst open and Johnny entered, a confused look on his face. 

"What was that sound?" Johnny asked, slowly making his way into the room. He caught sight of Jaehyun's red face and the embarrassed look on Donghyuck's face and tried to put one and two together. He gasped for dramatic effect. "Is this what I think this is?"

"No," Donghyuck replied bluntly. "The sound you heard was of Jaehyun hyung falling off the bed."

"Why did he fall off the bed?" Johnny raised his eyebrow in a challenging manner. 

"Because I told him about how," Donghyuck paused and watched as Johnny leaned closer, clearly interested. "Mark hyung tried to kiss me."

Johnny froze for a moment before collapsing on the ground out of laughter. Then, to try and make the situation even more dramatic, Johnny held his hand to his face and asked seriously. "When did this happen?"

"Last night—" the sound of a knock on the door resonated in the room and Donghyuck wondered how many more people he could tell in the next few minutes. "Who is it, now?"

Taeyong popped his head through the door with a pout. "I was just calling you guys for breakfast." He then paused as he realised Johnny was also in the room. His expression brightened up and Taeyong tiptoed into the room. "What's going on here? Are we having a family meeting?"

"Mark tried to kiss Donghyuck," Jaehyun explained the situation before anyone else could. Taeyong nodded and then turned to Donghyuck, who was surprised by the lack of reaction.

"Why was it a 'tried to'? Did you push him away?" Taeyong questioned.

Donghyuck shook his head before pointing an accusatory finger at Jaehyun. "He entered the room."

Jaehyun cowered away from the glared Taeyong and Johnny sent his way and scoffed. "How is it my fault? I was only coming into  _ my  _ room to sleep."

"Anyways," Taeyong brought the attention back and smiled at Donghyuck. "So who confessed first? I always had my bets on you, but Mark always does surprise me sometimes.

Donghyuck blinked in confusion. "Confessed? We didn't confess anything, we just went for a kiss."

Johnny let out a deep sigh and shook his head. "I don't know why I had higher expectations for the two of you. But it makes sense, I guess. You two just reconciled, give it some time before confessing to him."

"Confessing what?" Donghyuck knew what they were talking about, as shown by how his cheeks burned and the corners of his lips curled up, but he felt embarrassed by the thought. Someone who he considered to be his brother/best friend for almost all their time spent together, how could he see them romantically?

"Don't pretend," Jaehyun chuckled and flicked Donghyuck's forehead, causing the younger to wince and pull away from him. "There can only be one idiot in the relationship, it's best if you aren't the one."

-

Donghyuck took a deep breath as he left the kitchen and made his way down the corridor. He could hear Taeyong and Johnny (who had eventually emerged from his bedroom) shouting out cheers for him, and tried his best to ignore their attempt to be embarrassing parents. 

The look on Jungwoo's face when he saw Donghyuck heading towards the door he had just left made him suspect that he knew something. And the way Mark was huffing to himself whilst going through the channels was enough to confirm his suspicions. 

Seeing that Mark wasn't going to pay attention to him unless he spoke, Donghyuck plastered a smile over his face and called out to Mark. "Hyung," he said. "Taeyong hyung's nearly done with breakfast." Donghyuck leaned against the sofa side and examined Mark's face. He looked a little dull. "You look sick, did you not sleep well?"

The question he wanted to ask was what Mark was thinking when he tried to kiss him, but that seemed too straightforward. Mark answered and tried to play it off with a joke, but Donghyuck had something else in mind. 

"I don't know, Hyung," Donghyuck smiled gently. "You still look cute to me."

The reaction was splendid and Donghyuck did his best to hide his laugh. He rushed over to the door and said his goodbye. 

The second the door closed, Donghyuck sighed and leaned against the doorframe, giggling at the way Mark muttered to himself. 

"This was alright, right?" He turned to Jungwoo who was still by the door. The older nodded with a giddy look on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 900 kudos...wow that's amazing. Thank you


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there, and sorry.   
Lately I've been reading BL manhwas and mangas and so hadn't even touched ao3 until like a few days ago.   
Anyways, hopefully this chapters good and please read "the sound of your voice" because Ethan is honestly adorable and deserves so much love

Donghyuck was crazy, Mark thought when the younger proceeded to pat his butt for the tenth time that concert. Donghyuck was truly crazy, because Mark wasn't given any second to calm down before Donghyuck had started to bother him again. At first, Mark had assumed it was an accident, that Donghyuck had been rushing past him and in the excitement, accidentally brushed his hand against Mark's butt. However, it clearly wasn't when Mark snapped his head in Donghyuck's direction the fourth time and caught the younger snickering at his reaction. 

Mark kept glancing around at the cameras the fans had pointed towards them and stiffen whenever Donghyuck came close to him. It was a little strange getting so much attention from Donghyuck after many months of avoiding. Mark didn't know whether or not to feel thankful or embarrassed. The fans were enjoying it, seen by the way they would scream and cover their mouths in happiness. Mark, on the other hand, was flustered. 

But, at the end of it, he was happy. Glad to know that his relationship with Donghyuck had gotten better, probably stronger than it had been before.

It had come as a surprise to the members when Mark had willingly chosen to sit next to Donghyuck for their flight back to Korea. They weren't surprised, however, when Mark turned his head around with a pout on his face and asked for them to change seats with him because Donghyuck's snoring and incapability to remain on his own seat was far too distracting. (No one switched with him and Mark was forced to watch Spiderman with Donghyuck's hands randomly slapping his face one in a while).

After the Night-Which-Shall-Not-Be-Mentioned, as Mark named it, the two had shown no signs of wanting to talk about it. Mark was concerned for the first few days that went by whenever Donghyuck would call to talk to him alone, but then after a while he realised that Donghyuck was probably never going to bring it up again. Maybe he didn't want to talk about it? Maybe he didn't want to kiss Mark and so pretended to act as if it never happened. If that was what he wanted, Mark was more than willing to brush it under the rug. (But in all honesty, he didn't want to).

One thing that had changed, however, since that night, was that Donghyuck was teasing Mark more out of the usual. It was common to see the younger clinging onto someone's arm, majority of the time it was Taeil, and try to get a head pat out of them, but it wasn't common to see Donghyuck do that to Mark.

"You're cute," Donghyuck said once on a stage for one of their music show performances. The staff were calling out instructions and fans were staring up at them with big eyes whilst Donghyuck was there, his chin a few inches away from Mark's shoulder as he called the older cute. Mark bit his tongue to suppress his smile. "Now call me cute."

Mark feigned annoyance and rolled his eyes before muttering a small, "you're cute as well". Without waiting to see a reaction, Mark spun on his heels and began to make conversation with Jaehyun, who looked mildly amused at the exchange of words between the youngest two. He could hear Donghyuck cheer behind him with Johnny.

Shaking his head, Mark grinned widely as Jaehyun spoke about something that he didn't care about.

-

In the midst of hurrying into the changing rooms, Johnny managed to grab Donghyuck's arm and held him by the railing of clothes. 

"So," Johnny said quietly, trying to act as though he was helping the younger take his casual clothes out. "Any updates?"

Donghyuck stifled a laugh at the eagerness in Johnny's voice. "Nothing's changed." At the stern look that took over Johnny's face immediately after his answer, Donghyuck nervously shrugged his shoulders. "I don't want to force something into his face if he isn't even interested."

"Do I need to remind you who initiated an almost kiss that night?" Johnny frowned.

"You weren't even there," Donghyuck scoffed, peeling his jacket off himself. "Maybe I was just seeing things, maybe I was just really tired and thought that he was going to kiss me when he wasn't."

Johnny opened his mouth to reply when Mark suddenly popped his head over the clothes, a surprised look on his face when he saw the two. 

"I thought I heard voices, are we playing hide and seek?" Mark asked, blinking at the two in confusion. 

"No, go away," Johnny smacked Mark's hand and glared at him. "Don't you know it's bad manners when interrupting someone."

Mark raised a confused eyebrow at the two, but then quickly put his hands up and shook his head. "I don't care, just get ready cause we're leaving soon."

"Kids these days," Johnny jokingly rolled his eyes and turned to Donghyuck, who was smiling at the back of Mark's head. "What were we talking about?"

"I don't remember," Donghyuck lied and grabbed Johnny's hands. "But anyways, let's hurry up, I'm tired and want to sleep."

Johnny nodded his head and the two rushed around the dressing room, joining the others who were already changed.

-

"So," Jungwoo whispered, casually elbowing Mark once they took a seat in the van. Donghyuck was right beside him, but he seemed distracted by the music playing in his earphones. "How are things with you know who?"

"You could just say his name," Mark chuckled and then paused, thinking. "Well, they're the same as they were a few days ago." At the annoyed glare Jungwoo gave him, he continued, "We've started talking a lot more?"

"How boring," Jungwoo sighed, slumping in his seat, the excitement in his face suddenly disappeared. "I thought you had finally come to your senses and realised you liked Donghyuck in more than a platonic way."

When Mark didn't respond, Jungwoo hummed and plugged his earphones in, easily nodding off to sleep. 

As Jungwoo fell asleep and relaxed in his own world, Mark sat frozen in the middle seat, his mind spinning from the number of thoughts in his head. Did he like Donghyuck? Well, of course he did. Donghyuck was his best friend, they were closer than a lot of the other members and always had fun together. Mark had lost count of the number of times he accidentally called someone else by Donghyuck's name because of how he was stuck in his head. 

But that was all platonic, right? 

Mark thought back to the time he almost kissed Donghyuck. Why had he done that? Was it because of the mood? Was it because it just seemed like the right thing to do at the time? Or was it because he liked Donghyuck? Mark didn't know. His heart was beating far too loudly when he pulled Donghyuck close, all the sense in his mind had gone out of his brain. 

However, what did Donghyuck think about it all? Did he even feel anything? What if it had all been Mark's imagination? Maybe Donghyuck didn't find it weird to kiss the members? Mark narrowed his eyes at the thought and grunted, catching Donghyuck's attention. 

"You okay?" He asked, tilting his head over to see Mark's expression. Donghyuck didn't seem like the type of guy to go around kissing people randomly, right? A sudden memory of Donghyuck accidentally kissing Jaemin appeared and Mark almost scowled. 

Shaking the thought of out his head, he turned to Donghyuck with a soft smile. "I'm fine, no worries."

"Can I sleep like this?" Donghyuck suddenly blurted, leaning into Mark's shoulder, the top of his hair tickling Mark's neck. "I'm a bit tired and I won't drool."

"Promise?" Mark teased, earning a pinch into his stomach by Donghyuck. "Go on, it's not as if I had a choice."

"Thanks," Donghyuck mumbled, squeezing his arm through Mark's. _Warm_, Mark thought, smiling down at Donghyuck. It always felt warm around Donghyuck. It was as if Mark never felt cold around him, or uncomfortable. He was comforting in a way. Did Donghyuck also feel this way? Did his heartbeat fasten this way? Did his cheeks heat up at the thought of Mark? Did he fight the urge to catch Mark's lips with his own? 

Mark's mouth parted in surprise as his eyes trailed over the younger boy. Maybe Jungwoo was right. Maybe he did like Donghyuck. 

_Well_, Mark sighed. _I'm definitely not straight. _


	19. Chapter 19

There were many things in life that brought Donghyuck a great amount of frustration. One was the strange habit that Jaemin had developed over the years where he would bombard his phone with hundreds of pictures of just his feet. It was weird, Donghyuck didn’t like it (but he still had an album full of them on his phone so that the day he got the green-light from their manager he could post them online just to scare their fans). Another thing he hated with a strong passion was when he would be left on seen, and not just over text, but instead in real life, for example, the way Mark would nod at his words -  _ his questions _ \- and then start up a conversation with someone else. He was clearly not paying attention to him or even just simply listening.

Now, Donghyuck would’ve been fine if he just told him that he was busy or in the middle of something and so wasn’t listening to him, but whenever Donghyuck would ask him what was up the older boy would spout out an incredibly obvious excuse before hurrying away.

In other words, he was ignoring Donghyuck.

And so, with a frown on his face, Donghyuck took heavy and loud steps to the dance studio, ready to speak about feelings and feel awkward with Mark again. It was needed, unfortunately. 

“Hyung,” he said the moment he opened the door, not even checking around the room to see who he would be talking over or interrupting. Suddenly, all the heads in the room snapped over to look at him and he felt heat creep up his neck. “I meant Mark Hyung.”

The boy mentioned turned to him with a startled look on his face (it looked pretty cute, but Donghyuck wasn’t exactly in the mood to say something like that out loud just to fluster Mark). The others lost interest and Mark slowly walked through the small crowd around the room and finally reached Donghyuck by the door.

He glanced around himself and then raised an eyebrow. “What’s up?”

“Let’s go to the cafeteria together.” Donghyuck made a move to grab his wrist, but then Mark flinched before he even touched him and swiftly hid his arm behind him. 

“Could we talk here?” Those that weren’t interested began to take second looks at them, wondering why they were whispering in the corner of the room, exactly why Donghyuck wanted to go speak somewhere else. 

Donghyuck didn’t understand why Mark was being so cautious of him. It was obvious that he was still shaken up by the incident that took place not long ago, but he didn’t have to act so awkwardly. It was difficult for Donghyuck to handle as well, it wasn’t as if he was the only one who experienced the feeling of attraction towards a friend. 

Ignoring the faint hostility in Mark’s voice, Donghyuck took a step back and leaned against the door. “You look tired, wanna nap for a little while?”

Mark shook his head and smiled at him. “I’m not tired. Plus, the others were thinking about watching a movie later on. If I take a nap then when I wake up I’ll be too exhausted to watch it.”

Donghyuck nodded at his logic before giving up on acting civil. He leaned forwards and grabbed Mark’s arm, forcing it back to his front even when he tried escaping his reach. “Hyung,” he whispered into his ear, a little tired of playing this small game of pretending. “Did I do something wrong?”

Mark hurriedly pushed him away, his hand coming up to cover the lower part of his face. “No, you didn’t. But I will get angry if you do that again.”

Before Donghyuck has the chance to say anything else, Mark spun on his heels and rushed over to the closest person, already starting a conversation about something random. 

Donghyuck felt embarrassed when Jungwoo shot him a look of concern from across the room. Huffing to himself, Donghyuck left the room, angrily making his way to the cafeteria on his own. Mark was definitely avoiding him and the reason was getting more obvious the more they spoke and honestly, it was getting a bit annoying. Was this how the others felt when Donghyuck did the same to them?

-

The drive back to the dorms was filled with small whispers between them, all of them conserving energy to watch a movie after such a hectic day. Something happened with one of their recordings so they were called back to redo them and from then on more things kept coming up. To say the least, Donghyuck was tired and wasn’t looking forward to the movie. 

By the time they had reached a few of them had already fallen asleep, their heads banging against the window every time the van stopped. Donghyuck's original plan to stop Mark in the hallway so that he could speak to him gets destroyed as Mark gets dragged out of the car by Jungwoo before Donghyuck could even step out. Letting a sigh slip out, Donghyuck began to make his way there slowly when Johnny wrapped an arm around his shoulder and pulled him close.

“Yo,” he spoke softly, being mindful of those around him. “What’s wrong? Why do you look so down?”

Donghyuck looked at him from the corner of his eye and sighed again, tilting his head to lean against Johnny’s arm. “I’m just a little tired, Hyung. Don’t worry. And anyway, I plan to resolve the thing bothering me tonight.”

Johnny looked at him with this proud smile and it ticked Donghyuck off. He elbowed the other playfully before getting his hair ruffled a little too roughly. “Good luck. Donghyuck acted as though he didn't need his words of luck, but honestly, he felt like they were the only things helping him go through with his second plan.

“Want something to eat?” Donghyuck asked Mark when they were all getting ready to watch the movie. The popcorn and other snacks were already getting passed around, but from the way Mark’s stomach had grumbled Donghyuck knew he wanted something more filling. 

“You don’t have to,” Mark chuckled before nodding when Donghyuck’s own growling stomach decided to reply and pulled a seat into the kitchen. He placed his chin in his palm before leaning onto the counter. “This reminds me of all our other midnight snacks.”

Donghyuck took a look at the clock and burst into laughter. “It’s not even nearly 7 pm, what do you even mean, ‘our other midnight snacks’.”

“Well,” Mark’s slightly red face turned to be buried in his hands and he mumbled the rest of his sentence. “It feels like it's night. It’s dark outside, I’m pretty tired and we’re having food that we’d normally have past twelve.”.

Donghyuck hummed back mindlessly and Mark began to ramble about things he wasn’t the most interested in. But he continued to act as though he was, it felt nice to be spoken to by Mark after so long (it was only a few days, but after being surrounded by him all the time, even if it was only for a short period of time, it still felt like a daily routine).

“Thanks,” Mark said once he finished eating. He placed the bowl to the side and the two sat together in silence, the sound of the movie they were supposed to be watching playing in the background and the focus of the others was there. _ This is it _ , Donghyuck thought, taking a deep breath before turning to Mark.

“Hey, Hyung?” He spoke quietly, hoping that the others wouldn’t be able to hear him. Mark froze in his seat but nodded nonetheless when Donghyuck repeated himself. “About what happened the other day, are you acting like this because of that?”

At first, Mark sat still. He looked as though he was in deep thought, so Donghyuck remained silent. Then Mark began to shake his leg, and with his leg came his fingers tapping the seat. With all of that Mark’s face heated up and he shut his eyes tightly. “Look, Donghyuck, I don’t want you to think I’m doing this because I was disgusted or anything.”

“That never crossed my mind,” Donghyuck smiled and curled his finger around Mark’s pinky. “I know you aren’t like that.”

“Yeah, thanks,” Mark’s voice faltered and he chewed down on his lips. “You see, it’s all just a bit-”

“Confusing?” Donghyuck provided with a raise of an eyebrow.

He nodded. “A little confusing, a little quick. I mean, we just got back to being friends.”

Donghyuck hummed in agreement before leaning his head on Mark’s shoulder. “You know,” he paused and fiddled with his fingers, only now realising that he should’ve thought about what to say if Mark actually listened to him. Now that they were here all sensible ideas left his mind. “We don’t have to think too hard about this right now. I’m going off to do promotions with Dream soon, they asked me if I could stay over with them for a few days. You’ve got your own plans to go along with,” he raised his head and looked up at Mark. “You get what I’m trying to say right?”

“Take some time and collect our thoughts?” Mark offered, chuckling when Donghyuck gave him a short round of applause. “Even if we are, you know, going to think things through, can I still?”

Donghyuck’s brain took a while to process that, trying to understand what his question was suggesting before he finally got it. With wide eyes, Donghyuck took a deep breath and brought it to Mark’s cheek, caressing it softly. “I’ll only let this slide once.” He knew that wasn’t true and so did Mark, and yet the two still took their time cutting the space between them. 

“Alright,” Mark whispered back, his breath fanning over Donghyuck’s cheeks, a fond expression plastered on his face. “Only once.”

As he spoke he pressed his lips against Donghyuck’s, the feeling unusual and new. Mark felt Donghyuck slip his hand around his head and pull him closer. It was clear they were trying to make the most of the one chance they had restricted themselves to, but then a snore from behind them snapped them out of their fantasy. Mark was the first to lean back, amazed by the expression on Donghyuck’s face, and turned away with a smile. 

“I’m gonna head to bed early.” Mark rushed out of the room and went straight for his room. Donghyuck watched his back as he disappeared down the corridor. He glanced over to the others in the room and caught Johnny’s eyes. The older boy tilted his head to the door and nodded, mouthing something along the lines of ‘ _ go _ ’. 

“I’ll also,” Donghyuck cleared his throat as he stood up from the seat, only barely managing to save himself from a great fall as he made his way to the door. “I’ll also go now, night guys.”

The door shut behind him and they all slumped in their seats. “Thank you Jungwoo,” Taeil said from where he was hiding his face. “If they kissed for any longer in front of us I probably would’ve cried.”

Taeyong laughed from behind him and shook his head. “Let kids be kids.”

**Author's Note:**

> [cc](https://curiouscat.me/deelonghyuck)


End file.
